Black Mist
by Darcyvou
Summary: I took a deep breath everything was fading too fast. Evaporating at the touch of me. My eyelids closed they weighed a thousand pounds. All I wanted to do was sleep. Finally my body and I gave in, I closed my eyes and I let the black mist consume me-ratedT
1. Or Die Trying

1

Or Die Trying

I looked at Alice smugly crossing my arms. "no."

"please Bella if you love me at all.." she put on a pouty face her lip poking out.

"you promised Alice!" I stared at her, her gold eyes fell under her black spiky bangs. She was driving me crazy with all this wedding crap. If she hadn't already noticed I'm already hating this enough. I didn't want to have to do any planning I just want to show up and get it over with, in fact she told me that's all I had to do. So frankly I don't see any reason I should budge and give her any satisfaction.

"but will you just tell me! Peach for the bridesmaids or NOT?!" she growled and looked like she was going to pounce on me.

"NO! I'm not dealing with this Alice!" I put my hands on my hips and frowned heavily. I love Alice to death but she's been frustrating me lately, on a daily bases.

Suddenly I felt calm, I groaned. "Jasper. _Cut. It. Out." _I whispered slowly. I'm getting tired of his little ability. He was smiling softly his blonde hair falling over his eyes. Despite everything that was going on I was glad to be back in the house. It was sunny this weekend so everyone went hunting, except for me of course. It had been a very long weekend.

Then out of no where I really did feel calm, fully, _his_ freezing arms were around me. "what's wrong with peach, love?" his voice was velvety smooth.

I turned my head towards him I smiled warmly, gazing into his beautiful eyes. There he goes, dazzling me again, such a bad habit, but it's a habit that I don't want him to break. "its not that I _hate_ peach." he kissed my hairline. I sighed.

"then why are you making such a big deal over the dress color, love?"

"Oh, I don't know, why do you always get everything you want?" his face hardened and he frowned. This made me laugh.

"topaz, Alice, silk topaz." I was staring into his eyes, topaz of course, "strapless, too."

Alice danced around me giggling, Edward pulled me close and chuckled darkly.

"of _course _why hadn't I considered topaz before?! The dresses are going to be completely gorgeous Bella!! Thank you!" she giggled, "I'll give you guys some privacy." she winked at me.

"greatly appreciated Alice." Edward called after her after she skipped away. He pulled me in closer to him.

"you're so devilish, I love it." he whispered. "so why topaz?"

"you're eyes." I commented, "how am I devilish?"

"of course." he smiled, dazzling I can never get used to that gorgeous grin, I exhaled when I saw him tense up. I don't know why breathings such a problem lately for me. "devilish, you are, indeed." he laughed, " Alice hates it that you don't want this wedding. And to be frank so do I."

"what are you going to do about it?" I shot, my eyelashes were fluttering against his cheek. Butterfly kisses, how ironic. I wasn't aware that butterflies kissed angels. I guess its beauty for beauty in this strange world we live in.

He breathed out heavily smiling. "absolutely nothing." he smiled again and kissed me, pulling away in a matter of seconds and he sighed. I sighed too.

Stupid rules, stupid boundaries, why did I want to wait again? Ooh right. Geeze.

"what are you thinking?" I stared at him blankly, it was the 'Alice having a vision' face that I knew he hated. In a way I'm glad that he cant read my thoughts, although he wishes he could.

I laughed darkly trying to keep a straight face moving in closer and closer to him, "about how else I can be," I paused for dramatic effect and moved in a centimeter away from his face. "devilish." now he was the one with the breathing problem. He was so beautiful and I loved it when he did ridiculous things, like forget to breath. Not that it would matter much, he doesn't _have to breath. _I can't wait until I don't have to worry about silly things like, breathing, anymore.

He chuckled almost too low for me to hear.

"you're so beautiful when you're _trying_ to be devilish." he stressed trying a little too much for my liking.

"trying? _Darn! _So what I'm not devilish any more?" I pouted trying to keep from laughing.

He laughed louder than necessary, then paused and frowned. "we better go see Charlie he's having hysterias. He thinks you've run away with me, are you aware that it is after midnight."

What?! It was just 5 pm, time sure flied when I was in the arms of an angel. I groaned. "crap. Do we _have to? _Why not let him flip out for a change." I whined at him.

"Charlie already hates me I don't want to push my luck any farther than I have already."

I grumbled and stayed put stubbornly, not that it changed anything, he picked me up and swung me up to his chest holding me close, "no choice."

"like I ever had one." I grumbled again, although it was hard to say no to him when I was this close to his icy chest. I tried to remember to breath.

He slid me gently into the silver Volvos passenger seat. He slid into the driver seat almost .5 seconds after sliding me in and buckling my seat belt, he started the Volvo. I could feel the engine purr underneath us.


	2. Isolated

Chapter 2

Isolated

"what's he thinking?" I looked into his copper eyes and ruffled his bronze hair.

He didn't answer, "Edward.." I tried to sound stern like Charlie did when I was lying. He sighed.

"I wish your father approved of me."

"awh hell Edward _what is he thinking."_

"he wants to kill me Bella, and I don't think its just because I kept you out past curfew, I hardly see humans so…" he paused as if he was looking for the right word. I breathed out waiting to hear what he was going to say. "_passionate." _

I grabbed his face. He closed his eyes. "look at me." I commanded, obediently he opened his eyes. "don't even try to tell me you've never seen any human so _passionate, _because Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, you _have_ _seen me._ No one on earth is as passionate about anything as I am about you."

"well, I've never seen any human so passionate about hating his daughters boyfriend. I think we should tell him."

"oh Edward."

"he knows we're here." he started to get out of the car, I grabbed his arm stopping him in his tracks.

"no, you stay, I can handle Charlie's wrath."

"no, I'm.."

"please Edward, if he feels this strongly about hating you then I must go alone. Otherwise we'll never be able to tell him." I paused to giggle. "Now that I think about it you _should _come in." I tugged on his hand.

"not a chance." he kissed me, "good luck. See you soon."

I exhaled loudly, "not soon enough." I opened the car door and walked to sudden death.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" awh crap.

"yeah Dad?"

"where have you been young lady?!" Charlie's face was scarlet and I could see him shaking heavily like Jacob when he was about to explode into werewolf form.

"I was at Edwards, as you know," I paused, forgot to breath again. What is with me lately and having a breathing problem? " and Edward had some stuff to do so I watched a movie with Alice and I fell asleep. Non of the Cullen's fell it in their hearts to wake me up, apparently I looked so peaceful. Their couch is amazing Dad really. So when I woke up Edward drove me home and here I am." I stuttered the whole time. I was scared to death but for some odd reason I could say this while I looked him in the eyes.

"oh well, Er, why didn't they call?" of course he always has to have some reason…

"phones down from the storm last night." I struggled to remember if there was even a storm, most likely this _is _Forks after all.

"oh well, never scare me like that ever again and uh,"

"save it Char, Er, Dad. Despite my little nap I am really tired, goodnight."

"well, umm, night then I guess then." he scratched his head. wow keeping the whole vampire secret is making me an awesome liar!

Just as I expected he was sitting on my bed cross legged chuckling. "he doesn't believe you by the way."

"excuse me?" I giggled, as he pulled me onto his lap.

"he knows your lying but doesn't want to think about what you could have been doing with me." he smiled.

"who's being devilish now?" I asked.

"me." he laughed.

"human minute?" I asked him breathlessly.

"of course."

I decided I would just be devilish, I took my shirt off my white tank top was showing my pink bra and it made me laugh a bit and I walked out and into the bathroom and put on some pajamas and brushed my teeth furiously.

When I reentered the room I looked at the look on his face. "soon enough." I reassured him.

"why you like to torture me I don't know." he smiled faintly, I snuggled up onto his lap. "but I'm glad you do."

I snuggled closer to him in the dark.

"you should sleep now love." he stroked my hair.

I laid down obediently snuggling up to him trying to breath and not shiver at the same time.

He started humming my lullaby and I knew it was only a matter of time. I yawned. "again getting everything you want."

"not _everything.."_

"just proving to you that I am devilish."

He laughed and I fell into a deep dreamless icy sleep.


	3. Never Let Your Gaurd Down

Chapter 3

Never let your guard down

I woke up in a daze, Edward was completely zoned out. Listening to someone's mind I assumed. Jacob Black I assumed. He did this sometimes, he looked so serious. It was hard for him not to listen into Jakes thoughts, apparently he shouted things.

I kissed his ear hoping to brake his trance. It did. He shook a bit, "good morning love. How was your sleep?"

"peaceful." I spat.

He smiled at I heard a gasp.

"oh my god! Dad!"

"you two downstairs NOW!" now Charlie was really red in the face.

Oh my god what just happened? Edward let his guard down for a few minutes and Charlie pounces. Crap, crap, crap.

"this would be an excellent time to tell him." Edward whispered into my hair.

I growled, but he was right I suppose.

We held hands walking down the stairs. I thought I was going to throw up. Sure I've been scared before but right now I was terrified. I don't think I was even this scared of being killed by Victoria.

"sit." Charlie scratched his head. We both obediently sat side by side. I was glad Edward was there. "I knew you two were serious but in my house.."

"ew! DAD! No!"

"shh! don't interrupt me its rude Bella." he sighed, "your mother wont be happy."

"Dad can I please.."

"no. stop it Isabella Marie! I just found my baby waking up to this, this."

"Charlie, let Bella speak." I looked at Edward open mouthed I've never heard him speak so out of turn it was kind of, inspiring.

"how _dare you_ talk to me that way?! You, you!" my mouth flew open. "DAD! No, I love Edward with my whole life you cannot speak to him that way!! In fact I am engaged to be married to him _Charlie _I didn't intend on you finding out this way but I suppose if you want to throw me out and hate me that's fine because I will be with someone who truly loves me."

I heard Charlie curse under his breath. We sat in silence for over five minutes. I was sure I was red in the face and I was shaking with anger. Suddenly and that's when I realized that I did love Edward and I did want to marry him. He was my fiancé and I was happy about marrying him. Maybe even excited. Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. Isabella Marie Cullen, it had a nice ring to it. "you're sure about this Bells?"

"more than you know."

Edwards grip tightened in my hand. "you're telling Renée."

I stood up and hugged Charlie tightly. "you're not knocked up are you Bells?" he whispered in my ear. Of course, I could only get married at this age if I was knocked up. I can only imagine what everyone would say, because that's probably what they'll think. 'oh poor Isabella Swan forced into an early marriage because of the baby.' the baby, if only they knew that Edward was incapable of having children. So therefore _I _am incapable of having children.

"no Dad, in fact I'm not, your not terribly disappointed are you?"

He grinned, "more than you know Bells, more than you know."

"well we better tell my family." I smiled at him, I knew he didn't mean tell them about the engagement. Tell them that we, finally, told Charlie.

"wait ago Bells!" Emmett came and high fived me. "nice to have ya sis!" I could have cried long flowing tears, he called me sis. "oh no! the weddings off!" Edward screeched, a look of pure horror on his face. At that moment I almost did cry.

"WHAT?!" I chocked finally I was ready to get married and Edward doesn't want too. What if he didn't want me any more? I don't know what I'll do. I'll take knocked up any day if I can have Edward. I shook unnaturally. I could feel my eyes start to water, he was leaving me, again Charlie was right…

"Poor Bella is going to have to be related to EMMETT!" I loosened up a bit. Edward isn't very good at joking. How dare me think such rude horrible thoughts about him.

"awh she'll get used to it. Right sis?" I forced a laugh.

"yup, I'll have to. There's no way I'm backing out of this I already told Charlie."

Suddenly I felt excitement and turned. Alice skipped in holding hands with Jasper. I knew they were soul mates but I have never seen them kissy, kissy goo, goo. Unlike Edward and, I everyone of the Cullen's were very good about hiding their emotions towards each other.

"yay!" she danced over and kissed my cheek.

"you all know we've been engaged for quite a while. It doesn't matter that Charlie excepted it."

"or the fact that he walked in on you and Edward." Alice nudged me in the side.

"ow!" Edward ran to my side fell on his knees and kissed my side where Alice had hit me.

"ooo awkward!" Emmett started laughing hysterically.

"god why does everybody think that we.."

Edward winked at Emmett making him crack up even more. I punched him in the shoulder probably bruising my hand. He grabbed my hand and kissed it, "don't hurt yourself love."

He laughed and kissed my lips softly. "lets call your mom."

"seriously?" I hadn't talked to my mom in the longest time and I was excited. My excitement got cut short when I realized the reason for calling my mother. Dang the wedding is ruling my life.

He nodded. "fine," I sighed "give me your cell phone."

He handed it to me, and started playing with my hair being extremely close to my face. I kept reminding myself to breath. "hey mom."

"BELLA! Oh hi honey! How are you? Is Edward there? Of course he is do you ever leave him alone?" she laughed.

"actually mom I have something, to uhh tell you."

"oh alright." he chuckled into my hair. He kissed my face all over. My forehead, my cheeks, my nose, my chin…

"Edward and I are…" I swallowed, he kissed my forehead again, "coming to see you."

"oh honey that's great I'm so excited!"

I could feel Edward smile on the side of my face as he kissed me, "thank you," he whispered.

"me too mom, me too."

"well I wont occupy you any more I'm sure you two need to pack, I love you. I know he's here, I love you, Edward."

"love you too mom."

"love you Renée." he smiled. I shut the phone.

"she seems to approve of you." I smiled.

"If only I could read her mind right now.." he whispered.

"you wouldn't dare." I glared at him.

"I just wonder if she loves me as much as she says, your father hated me until he realized you truly love me and he doesn't have any choice but to love me too."

I laughed, "sure, sure." I chocked at that moment Jacob always says that, I miss him.

"do you want to see him?"

"how did you know?"

"love, you never look so sad as when you're thinking of Jacob Black. As much as I hate him I don't want you to be upset, so go see him. Alice and I will pack your clothes and tell Charlie about our trip."

"If your sure…"

"It will be a long time before you see him again, go. I love you, take my phone and call me if you need anything. Please take one of our cars I would feel so much better about letting you go if I knew you had a good ride."

"sounds fair." I smiled and he lead me out and threw me the keys to the Volvo, I kissed him. "You're the best." He slipped my ring onto my left ring finger, "think of me always love, I hope you're making the right decision about all this I see the way you look at him. I see how sad you are when he's upset. I just.."

"shh, please don't Edward you are my addiction I love you more than air more than life. Jacob is just my friend."

"but you love him." he whispered.

"yes I do, but not even close to the same way as I love you. I hope you know that." I kissed him.

"I do know that." he sighed and kissed my forehead. "go, be safe and take care of my heart."

I kissed him passionately. "you too."

I got into the Volvo turned the key and sped to the La Push boundary line.


	4. Hatred

Chapter 4

Hatred

I pulled up to the Blacks house. It looked just the same as ever. I breathed in and out. I got out of the Volvo, and stumbled to the garage. Just as I suspected Jacob was hunched over his Rabbit tools in hand sleeping. Drool was running down his chin. I laughed and he stirred. I backed up shushing myself inside my brain he looked like the old Jacob all curled up and sleeping like the little boy I knew was cooped up inside. But of course this is me we're talking about, I tripped over a rock and screeched. 

He woke up groaning. He looked at me and frowned. "what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you Jake." I smiled at him taking a step forward.

"so your little bloodsucker doesn't mind you coming over and saying hi as long as you'll be a leach in the long run?"

I shook my head. "come on Jake."

He growled. "I don't know why you're here Bells if your not here to tell me you love me and want me, then just leave."

He turned back to his Rabbit fiddling with something. Tears flowed down my face. He sighed and looked hurt, "awh come on Bells don't cry."

I looked at him, I'm hurting him again I'm a monster! "how do you expect me _not _to cry Jake. You seem to hate my true love and you seem to hate me too!"

"I don't hate you Bells, I'm just mad that's all." he stepped forward grinning at me. 

I turned on my heels and I started back to the Volvo. "where are you going?"

"home." I told him.

"what why?" his big face turned sad. 

"you told me to leave." I looked at him confused, he grabbed me and ran. His warm body pulsing on my chilled skin. "where the hell do you think you're going!" I punched his big arms, and huge abs. "Jacob put me DOWN!"

Suddenly we were plummeting off the cliffs straight towards the deep black water.

I splashed him. "Jake! Cut it out!" 

"see the cliffs aren't monsters unlike your lover!"

I was having the time of my life with Jake, at least until he made that comment. I sunk under water. "ah come on Bells I was joking!" I tugged on his leg pulling him under. We both came up laughing. 

"what time is it Jake?" I hoped it wasn't getting too late, I don't want Edward to feel the need to break a certain treaty because he is worried.

"what do I look like a flipping watch?" Jacob was trying to look serious, I couldn't hold it in. 

I laughed. "no, do I?" I ruffled my wet hair splashing wetness all over his big head. 

"I've never seen any watch this beautiful so your probably not a watch." he pulled me in and kissed me ferociously. He was attacking me. 

"Jake!" I cursed. I thought I was going to barf, not again. I shoved him and tried to get away, he wasn't having that. He pulled me closer squashing my face. "I CANT BREATH JAKE!" he pulled my face away and kissed my neck, I yanked on his long pony tale. He pulled his face back to mine squishing me again. I tried to scream but he was breathing really hard and I couldn't even hear it. 

I cursed on his lips, spitting. At that moment I wish I had acid spit so I could burn his happy little lips off. He knew I was engaged what is his problem? "jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkeeeeeeee!" I mumbled, what is his problem? "cannt breathhh!" again he moved away from my face and moved to other places. "CUT. IT. OUT. JAKKE!" I cursed. 

He was kissing me neck shoulder, arm, hand. I dug my nails into his back. All that did was brake my nails. Alice was going to insist on a trip to the salon after this. Grr! How dare him do that to me. 

"I have to go!" I cursed. He wasn't letting go of me. Stupid giant werewolves. Why is it that everyone is stronger than me. He moved back to my face kissing my lips a little softer, this is my chance! I bit his lip, digging deep into his flesh.

Jacob howled and cursed. Letting me a little loose. "dang Bella! I'll give your bloodsucker one thing he is a good teacher! You are biting like a pro!"

I wiggled away from him, "good bye Jacob."

I struggled to swim breathlessly and run back to the house. I had to stop a lot on the way up the cove. I only looked back once. He hadn't moved he was touching his bleeding lip open mouthed staring at me. I felt heavy all the way back to the Blacks house. My clothes stuck to me and my jeans felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. Surprisingly, though, I only fell twice all the way there.

When I finally reached the small house, I slid into the Volvo and realized that I forgot the keys in the garage. I jogged over to the garage, stopping when I heard Billy's voice, he was talking to Sam.

"it will all be worth it. They can only be so nice for so long. They're blood suckers for god sakes. Then you will be able to do what you wish to those filthy creatures."

"you know how I feel about this Billy, I want her gone too. I want them all gone NOW! She is one of them now. She might as well be a bloodsucker herself. Jake deserves so much better."

"they saved my son Sam,"

"I know Billy, but one good deed doesn't match a million bad ones."

I grabbed my mouth finally thankful I was having a breathing problem lately. 

"I suppose you're right, this will mess Jake up Sam. Are you sure you want to risk that?"

"it will be worth it Billy I promise you that, you will not regret me taking care of them. Soon you will get your legs back."

"revenge will be sweet I will give you that much Sam but killing off those filthy disgusting creatures that have all but sucked Bella dry, will not give me my legs back."

"it may not physically Billy, but don't worry they will have lost more than just their legs when this is all over."

I couldn't breath. My lungs were about to explode. I was sure my face was turning purple.

I looked down and saw my keys I swiped them and held my breath all the way to the boundary line. Once over it, I was safe.


	5. Secrets

Chapter 5

Secrets

The silver Volvo went slower and slower until it completely stopped, I was sobbing. How could this happen? Is Billy insane? What about Sam?! He is the leader of the pack will they go after me if he says so? Would Jacob hurt me? Or even kill me? I didn't want to even think about that. What about Carlisle and Esme and tiny Alice, and even... I couldn't even bring myself to think his name. Oh! Suddenly I felt his presence he pulled me onto his lap I laid against his cold chest sobbing. I breathed out slowly.

"what is it Bella? What did he do now?"

I opened my mouth prepared to tell him everything, but suddenly I felt a strange thing that I had never felt before when I was with him. I lied. "he doesn't except our engagement." lying made me want to cry more. "I didn't really expect him too but we were having such a great time swimming and.." I couldn't go on.

"its my fault love I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have.." I put my finger on his freezing icy lips.

"no shh! Stop blaming yourself Edward everything isn't your fault. It doesn't matter I suppose. He is going to hate me as soon as I make the change so he'll probably never ever be _my _Jacob ever again. And YES I made the right decision. So don't even try to pull all that crap on me, I love you and I want to be with you for forever and all eternity."

He breathed out, I was glad that Alice couldn't see the future of the werewolves because otherwise that lie was completely pointless.

Once I stopped crying he slid into the drivers seat and drove us home. He sighed, "our flight is in an hour. That was the soonest we could go and Charlie says to leave as soon as possible, the sooner the better."

That was confusing but fine. "so we're not going home?" I fidgeted in my seat.

"stopping by my house to get our things, is that alright love?"

"yes, I _am_ going home." I murmured to myself, although I was sure he could hear it. "its fine Edward how long are we staying with Renée?"

"just the weekend. You do remember that the wedding is in two weeks right?"

I stopped breathing. I totally forgot, awh crap. "don't worry, Alice has a beautiful dress picked out for Renée."

I smiled and sighed, oh well. We pulled up to the house, it still looked beautiful in the hard rain. "wanna play a game?" he asked excitedly.

"sure. What game?"

"dodge-rain." I laughed he picked me up and he ran, and sure enough I made it into the house perfectly dry.

"Bella! I'm going to miss you this weekend." she bit her lip, and hugged me.

I sighed, "what's wrong Alice?" awh crap was Billy an exception to her vision thingy? If so I'm so screwed.

"nothing Bells, your mom is going to flip. That's all." I could still see something in her eyes, I just couldn't identify what it was.

I sighed again, well I knew that mom loves Edward. I smiled and hugged her back. "chillax sis, man you psychics are going to be the death of me!" she laughed and kissed my cheek.

"you really think of me as your sister?" she whispered in a sing song way.

"I always have Alice, you excepted me so easily. I love you for that. You're my best friend." I squeezed her tightly.

"come on Bella lets go or I'll have to drive _really _fast to get there on time." I shivered.

"bye Bells." she laughed.

When we got off the plane it was dark and Phil and Renée came to meet us. There we were hugged to death. It was good to see my mom. Edward and I agreed when we went out to dinner tonight we would announce our engagement. The thought made me hyperventilate.

"Bella you look so pretty! doesn't she look gorgeous Edward?!" Renée mused.

"yes she does, Renée, she gets her looks from you." what a suck up.

Edward and I slid in the back seat of Phil's red mustang. "so where too kids?"

"howa bout that Italian restaurant that you like so much dear?"

"perfect!" I hadn't talked to Phil lately, but I didn't remember that he was this…enthusiastic.

We made it to the house so Edward and I could change. "what should I wear?" I turned to him, he gazed up at me dazzling me again.

"something your mom gave you maybe?" He suggested.

"Thank you! Have I ever told you your the best?"

"many times,"

I got out a turquoise sun dress that my mom gave me. I slipped it on and spun around. "you look amazing. Completely beautiful."

I kissed his cheek, "thanks. So its not too much?"

"for me to bare, yes. But considering the condition absolutely not."

We sat down, the restaurant was really beautiful, Italian food on the beach. Amazing. Edward looked amazing and godlike under the full moon and candlelight. Mom and Phil were sharing spaghetti and Edward was fiddling with his ravioli. I guess he only ordered it not to be rude. He stuck a piece into his mouth, I laughed at his reaction. He looked like he was going to throw up, his face flushing which was extremely hard to do considering he was already snow white. "something wrong with the ravioli Edward?" Phil asked.

"no," he paused. "just nervous I guess." he dropped the bite off the fork back onto his plate.

"why are you nervous Edward?" Renée looked concerned.

I eyed him. "I have some news I'd like to share with you, well its not only mine.." his musical voice trailed off.

"its mine to, well here's the thing mom. You know that I love Edward a lot."

"and I love her." he added.

"well a couple months ago he did something pretty drastic."

"its very natural for me, I knew this would happen the second I saw her Renée, as I'm sure you know." he added.

I couldn't read her face, it was shocked and confused at the same time. "he purposed to me mom. And I said yes."

"Isabella may I speak to you in the little girls room for a moment."

"of course mom." I eyed Edward, Phil was already scooting over beside him.

"so son," Phil started, I'm sure this is why we were leaving.

Even the bathroom was elegant, and beautiful. Mom ran all through the bathroom shooing anyone who was inside. "what are you thinking young lady?!" she shouted.

"what?" I was shocked.

" You're only eighteen and your engaged! Oh Bella! You were so responsible!"

"I still am Mom! I'm still the same Bella!"

"no you're not. I don't approve of this!" she shouted.

"Charlie does!" I counteracted.

"well if you haven't noticed darling Charlie and I are not married so I don't have to agree with his decisions."

"I thought you would be happy for me mom, not being cruel."

"you think _I'm _being cruel. My only daughter is throwing her life away to a well dressed, handsome, rich man she barely knows. In fact I've never even met his family!"

"I do know Edward MOM! His family is amazing too and I don't care if he is rich or any of that mom love is deeper than that! And so is he!"

"why are you doing this darling? Are you pregnant?!"

"Oh my GOD! Mother I am not pregnant! Edward can't even have children, and what if I was pregnant?! Would you hate me then? Would you disinherit me?"

"I wouldn't disinherit you Isabella Marie, but I'm not coming to the wedding. I will allow you to throw your life away but I wont be a part of it."

I was sobbing now, "what?! So you're just going to not go to your only daughters wedding?! This is the only wedding I'm ever going to have!"

"no, I'm not. I will except him and be nice to him but I'm not going to be there and don't expect visits from me. And you can't guarantee that he will be the only man you'll ever marry. I married twice."

"but I only love Edward, he is the only guy I ever want. He is my air my spirit, he is my life. He is everything I will ever need. Mom I really want you there."

"no end of conversation." she straitened her hair out with her hands.

I stood in shock at the woman who nursed me and loved me, who was suddenly transformed into some other person all together.


	6. Trail Of Tears

Chapter 6

Trail of tears

We walked back out to the dinning area, Phil and Edward were joking and laughing. I tried to hide the fact that I was crying, surprisingly mom helped. She didn't want Phil to see his step daughter so upset. I didn't want to ruin the night for Edward.

"anyone want desert?" Edward waved a credit card in the air, I didn't want to look at mom right then, "dinners on me!"

"no, that will be all how nice of you Edward." she smiled, and Edward grinned happily. I hope she was hiding her thoughts. If only I could tell her maybe she would understand…I felt tears start to weld into my eyes.

He waved the waiter down and handed him the card. "give yourself a nice tip, you've been amazing thank you." the waiter nodded and smiled.

"thank you sir."

Edward smiled and nodded.

We got back to the house, and the whole way home mom was silent glaring out the window, it was like she was killing the city with her glare. Not that it made things awkward Edward and Phil seemed to be getting along nicely. Finally someone in my family likes him. Well he isn't blood related but still. Blood, hmm.

"Edward, what is your favorite mythical creature? I find them amazing and love to read science fiction." Phil laughed. I giggled. I knew what his favorite mythical creature was, it was strange that Phil brought it up, almost like he knew.

"Vampires of course, I find science fiction interesting too, Phil. What about you?"

"you're going to hate me for this Edward but I am a werewolf person." oh no, now we've got a problem. I thought I saw him cringe but only for a split second, before he started laughing with Phil.

"Werewolves are so immature!" Edward laughed. I had to touch him at that moment I stuck my hand on his shoulder and he turned to me and kissed my cheek if I would of blinked then I would of missed it.

"oh and you would know?!" he laughed a loud booming laugh, "I'm sure they could win against vampires any day!" I didn't even want to think about the vampires and werewolves I know fighting.

"oh no they wouldn't! They would be insane to take on Vampires." they both laughed. I didn't think it was funny.

"Phil," I interrupted, I couldn't take this any more.

"which are you Bella, vampire or werewolves?"

"mutual party Phil, can I steal Edward for a while?"

"wow that would sure make an interesting book, ha, ha sure you can take him."

I smiled at him thankfully.

Edward and I walked down the beach hand and hand. "why were you crying earlier Bella?" he looked at me his face was deadly serious, but his eyes were caring and loving.

"you noticed that?" I couldn't look him in the eyes. I couldn't breath steadily. I could barely breath at all.

"is there anything I don't notice about you?"

"no," I forced a shaky laugh.

"what happened, love?"

I couldn't keep it in any longer, I fell to the ground sobbing. He wrapped his arms around me. I shivered from tears and his icy embrace. I wanted to tell him everything, but I couldn't find my voice.

I was having hysterias. I stuck my face into his icy chest. I felt a splitting headache coming on. He kissed my forehead gently. "love, its okay. I love you."

I wanted desperately to tell him I loved him back but when I opened my mouth fresh sobs came out. "shh, love shh. It will be okay."

I was sure I couldn't cry any more. After Edward left me, I was sure I'd used up all my tears, but apparently they're still flowing great. When he noticed that I was under control he wiped my tears away with his icy hands. "forever, Isabella Marie Swan I promised you forever and always and that's what you're going to get. Now please tell me what happened." he sat and waited for me to burst out crying again and so did I. but nothing came. Maybe I had finally run out.

I took a big deep breath before I started. "she doesn't approve Edward! She isn't even coming to the wedding! She's completely disgusted of me! She hates me. Charlie was more civilized. How could this have happened?! I thought Alice said.."

"shh, its okay, shh I love you. She'll come around love she will I promise!" his phone buzzed. He pulled me close and answered it.

"Alice is everything? Shh slow down! What?! No! what do you think?"

"Edward what's wrong?!" I gasped expecting the worst.


	7. Complete Disaster

Chapter 7

Complete Disaster

"Edward!"

"We have to go!" I stared at him, his beautiful features were distorted. I wish he would tell me what was wrong.

"WHATS GOING ON EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN?!" I shouted at him with all my might, which at the moment wasn't much all my crying had made my throat raw.

"the wedding has been moved up." I smiled, wow that's horrible. Then it dawned on me.

"when exactly is the wedding?" I glared at him, "when Edward.."

He mumbled something in vampire speed. "EDWARD!"

"soon." I glared at him. "alright, its Friday."

"next Friday?" I asked him.

He mumbled something else in vampire speed. "Edward…" there was Charlie's stern voice again.

He sighed. "no, this Friday." my mouth flew open. I couldn't believe it. I was excited but now I'm mortified. Snakes entered my stomach, I thought I was going to throw up.

"but its _Tuesday! _Edward, why do we have to move it up?"

"This mystery place Alice booked had to move our reservations up. I'm sorry love, but Alice refuses to let us pick our own place. And she's been blocking her mind so I can't figure out where it is." I looked into his eyes, they were smoldering.

"well I guess we have to leave." I sighed. I looked up at him snuggling closer, I didn't want to move from that position.

"are you aware of all the things Alice is going to put you through for the next three days?" I sighed, in three days I could be a full vampire. This is going to be horrible.

"yeah I think so. Complete and utter torture." I smiled.

"of course, shopping and getting dressed. What horror." he smiled at me and I leaned forward and kissed him. Before I knew it we were running at vampire speed.

Before I knew it I was at Renée's house. Phil looked up from his paper. "Is everything okay kids?"

"the wedding! Its been moved up! Its on Friday!" despite the fact of me doing never doing any running, I was completely out of breath.

"oh that's nice honey," Renée smiled fakely.

"we'll come with you!" Phil smiled. Unlike my Mother, his smile was real and loving. He really truly did love Edward and I.

"thanks Phil but we have to leave, now. I really appreciate everything your doing for Edward and I." I smiled at him and hugged him.

"I got our things Bella. We have to leave now, I'm sorry we couldn't stay any longer." Edward smiled politely and tugged on my arm pulling me towards the door. "I ordered us a car, love," I glanced at my mother when he called me love. She was frowning unnaturally. "its here, we have to go. Thank you for letting us come and see you, Renée and Phil."

"bye," I whispered. I went outside and sitting in the drive way was a gorgeous red Porsche, almost identical to Alice's except for the color. I slipped into the car, settling into my seat. In a blink of an eye we were going 200 mph, I tried to focus on his face and not the blur outside of us.

He turned to me and stroked my forehead, "Sleep love, you have a lot to do in the next few days." I closed my eyes but my stomach was flying, I knew I couldn't sleep.

He was humming my lullaby, but not even that could calm me. He stroked my closed eyelids. A tear seeped out from under my right lid, he wiped it away. "what's wrong love? Your mother will come around I promise."

"I'm getting married Edward." I smiled and opened my eyes to take a peek at my fiancé. Tears flowed down my face. "I'm getting married to my true love. I'm finally doing it."

"I love you so much." he kissed me. I held his face and kissed it. We sped up until we finally met the highest speed. This time I was the one to pull away.

"watch the road, I at least want to live until my wedding day." he smiled at me and kissed my face.

"if you insist." he looked towards the road still keeping his hand touching my face. I closed my eyes. "sleep now, my true love. My one and only. The reason I'm still living. Without you I am nothing. Sleep well enough for me and you both, considering I cannot sleep."

I started to drift off, I heard my lullaby. But this time it wasn't Edward humming it was me. He cut into my song with his musical humming. We hummed me to sleep and I fell into a deep nightmare.


	8. Drowning

Chapter 8

Drowning

I looked into Edwards eyes. He was wearing a tux and looked amazing. I took another step forward. He took a step backwards. His beautiful face started to twist and I touched my head wondering if I was nervous or what was wrong with me. We were in the bright sunlight but for some odd reason he wasn't glistening. I reached out to touch him. And then I heard the dry laugh that haunted me. I blinked and Aro stood in front of me where Edward had been. He was wearing Edwards tux. His pale face smiled at me.

For some odd reason I smiled back at him and walked forward, taking his chalky hands that seemed to fall apart at my touch. I looked up at the minister. His old face started to twist as he said the words. Oh no not again. Suddenly I was looking into the eyes of true horror, little Jane. Suddenly all the faces of my friends and family and loved ones twisted into the faces of the Volturi.

Somehow I felt good though. Unnaturally. I was wearing the dress that Alice got for me. "I do." I whispered, moving in to kiss Aro. I got closer and closer.

"Bella." I smiled. Everything was going in slow motion. I moved an inch closer.

"Bella, love we're here."

"I know finally, I'm going to be with you forever."

"Bella love wakeup." my eyes fluttered opened.

"Edward?" I looked at him, a dream just a dream. I leaned on him. "oh we're home. Good." I blinked a little bit. My eyes burned. Surprisingly though the seats in this car were very comfortable. then I was inside. Then I was ambushed.

"Bella! I'm so sorry! We have so much to do!" Alice looked at me eyes wide. My stomach hurt, it growled. I hadn't realized how hungry I was. I hadn't got to finish my dinner. "don't worry we remembered your human insecurities. Such as food. I hope you don't mind peanut butter and jelly."

"no that sounds good actually. I'll make it." suddenly right in front of me there was the most beautiful sandwich I had ever seen in my life. Not to mention that it was held by an angel, _my angel _Edward.

"What does it not look appetizing? I mean, I know it looks completely disgusting to me but…" he really looked hurt, but I couldn't help gaping at this artwork that he wanted me to eat. "I'm sorry I'll just take it away…"

"no Edward, it looks…" my voice trailed off, I tried to think of the best word to use. "it looks beautiful, amazing I've never seen anything more appetizing in my life, and this is only a sandwich." I smiled at him. He pulled me in and kissed me.

"then take a bite, it may look good but lets see how it tastes." I looked at it, my mouth clamped shut. I decided to be devilish again, I smiled warmly at him praying for myself not to blush.

"I don't think so," I glared at him. He put on a pout. His eyes smoldering again.

"please, Bella?" I glared at him harder like my mom had out at the poor city she lived in. he pulled the sandwich up to my face. It smelled amazing, I couldn't help but think it was only peanut butter and jelly. I moved in to take a bite, and I did. It was amazing the jelly was sweet and spicy at the same time, how was it that vampires have no taste for human food but yet they can make it taste wonderful? I don't know but I'm sure not going to question it. His smile widened, "how is it?"

"you're cooking at the wedding." I told him and smiled. He kissed my face.

"okay you two that's enough, I have a lot to do now Bella eat or we'll have to get a pretzel or something at the mall." oh god, words of torture. _the mall.._

"okay, okay! I'm eating!" I stuffed the rest of the sandwich in my mouth. "lets go." I murmured. I stood up. I looked at Edward for help, there was nothing I could do about this horrible thing that was going on. But for some reason I wasn't as horrified about shopping as I was leading myself and everyone else on about, I was actually kind of excited about the whole affair. He shrugged.

"Bella you're taking this so well! I'm so excited lets go! Rose Esme do you guys want to come with Bella and I?" she shouted. Suddenly I blinked and they were in front of me.

"of course Alice. I would be happy to go with you." Alice looked Rosalie in the face. Surprisingly Rosalie smiled, warmly. I looked at Edward he was shocked. I opened my mouth to ask him what she was thinking when I was interrupted by a beautifully musical voice.

"sure I'll go with you I'd be happy to help out my sisters." sisters, my mouth flew open and my eyes started to water. Had Rosalie actually said that or was my mind fooling me again?

"lets go!" Alice screeched excitedly, "I think we should take two cars, we're going to need all the space we can get. Hmm lets see. I think the Volvo and the Porsche should do it. Esme you and Rose can take the Volvo and Bella and I will drive the Porsche. Okay lets do this thing! By Edward!" she skipped over and hugged him and kissed his cheek mumbling something in vampire speed so I didn't catch it. Stupid vampires wait until I'm one of them then I'm going to be the one whispering in his ear where no one else can here.

I walked over and kissed him passionately. He handed me his phone. "they may be taking my car, but your taking my heart, if you need me I will come and get you or even if you want to text me or call me I'll answer I love you with all myself. Be safe my dear sweet beautiful Bella." I kissed him again.

"whose phone are you stealing so you can talk with me?" I asked him smiling.

"my spare." he smiled taking a marker and writing the number on my hand in his gorgeous fancy script.

"I love you so much! I'll try to have fun for you. Please do something productive with your day, I wont have half as much fun if I know your waiting here doing nothing all day long." I kissed his icy lips softly once more when I released.

"maybe I'll go hunt with the guys," he mumbled. I kissed him.

"bye." I whispered breathlessly.

"why is it that when you two say goodbye you have to start up a huge drama and your acting like you wont see each other again for years, it will just be today chill out!" Emmett laughed shaking the floor underneath me.

"because we love each other Emmett." Edward and I whispered together.

"well I love Rose but you don't see us getting all teary eyed when ever one of us leaves on a shopping trip for the day."

"why don't you do that Em?" Rosalie glared at him. I couldn't help but laugh I never saw him so terrified. Especially for a boy who eats grizzlies for breakfast.

"well uh, baby, Rosie.." he looked at her with his huge puppy dog face, "I'm going to miss you Rosie. I love you so much! Uh take care of uh.. What was that last part Eddie?" he looked at Edward Rosalie's face growing madder and madder.

"The clock is _ticking! _guys! Come on lets GO! The stores will close!" Alice was bouncing up and down whining.

"my heart, Emmett. She has to take care of my heart." Emmett's eyes widened.

"I wasn't aware you still had a heart, Eddiekinz." Emmett smiled.

"he has to have a heart to love me.." I smiled at Edward.

"NOW!" Alice screamed.

I kissed his cheek gently and walked over to Alice's baby, the yellow Porsche.


	9. AUTHORS NOTE SOB jus read it KK

**Greetings fellow Twilight lovers,**

**I got a little overly excited when I posted my story so I forgot a few things…so well here ya go!!**

**DISCALAIMER: I'm unhappy to say that Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse are not mine. The characters are not from my imagination but Black Mist is all mine. Except for the occasional inspiration on . (pout sob)**

**Roses are red violets are blue, read and review and I will bless you with another chapter!!**

**If you can think of anything adorable Edward or Bella or something hilarious Emmett can say then post it…I will love to hear it and I may use it and you will be acknowledged. **

**Every 8 chapters I am planning on an authors note (as much as we all hate them) to keep y'all updated. I may put one before, if needed.**

**Okay setting is after Eclipse and Bella convinces Edward to not tell Charlie so that is why he didn't know before..**

**AKAY WELL READ AND REVIEW IF U WANT MORE Y'ALL R THE BEST I LUVV U TO PIECES !! I WOULDN'T B ANYTHING W.O FANS THANKS A BUNCH**

**KK **


	10. Suffocating

Chapter 9

Suffocating 

I slid into the car, it felt as soft as the car Edward and I had rented the night before, but it wasn't as warn down and it still had that new car smell that made me crinkle my nose.

"mmmmmm." Alice purred, she hugged the steering wheel. "Just me you and old Bumble Bee."

I giggled, "whose Bumble Bee?" I asked her trying to focus on her face as we pushed 150 mph. what's with my crazy family and fast driving. It made me nauseous.

"the car silly, you see its yellow and reminds me of a cute little bumble bee. Do you not think that's adorable Bella? She drives so well! Speedy little devil." she giggled wildly. I had to laugh, Alice was so funny when she wasn't being deranged about silly things like shopping or my wedding.

"yeah, adorable. What's the plans for today?" I asked her taking a deep breath, I wasn't sure I was ready for it all.

Her face flew in a huge white teethed grin. "well, we are going to the shoe stores first to get all of us shoes. The ones for us and your bridesmaids. don't worry everyone is aware of the fact that the wedding is moved up. Then we will pick up the bridesmaids dresses. They're gorgeous Bella."

"slow down Alice, I don't speak vampire." she smiled sweetly and put her hand on my shoulder.

"I know, I'm sorry. Uh so, where was I? oh yeah! Then we will pick up the guys tuxes. They were specially made." she said proudly. "then we will get you something to eat. Fast food. Like a gazelle. Very fast food." she giggled.

"howa bout McDonalds instead? That's just as fast and more appetizing for me." she giggled at me and nodded. "what's next?"

"well, let me think, what else do I need for the wedding?" she started mumbling something in vampire speed as we pulled up to the mall, it was still dark outside and I assumed it just opened. "you'll just have to see."

I breathed out and opened the car door. We walked into the mall and I decided I should call Edward. I would keep him updated by the hour. I dialed his number on the cell phone and put the phone up to me ear. I twisted my wedding ring and felt butterflies when I heard his beautiful voice on the other line.

"Bella?" I smiled.

"yup its me!" I giggled as Alice pulled me into an expensive bridal shoe store. I sat down and let her go to work.

"is everything okay?" his musical voice sounded so good right now. Alice put on all sorts of white shoes. Slipping it on examining it then throwing it away whispering, no good.

"where are the special shoes? The ones Jennifer Lopez and Jessica Alba special order? I want to see _those shoes._" the fat obviously gay man waddled to the back of the store Alice on his tail.

"absolutely, despite the fact that Alice is massacring my feet. I feel sorry for the people who work here." I laughed.

He laughed too, "that's good. So you haven't broken anything yet? No hospital visits or hostel vampires trying to steal you away from me?"

"no haven't broken anything, and the only hostel vampire here is Alice. And a negative on the hospital visits. But I haven't seen Esme or Rosalie in a while. Probably for the best Alice is scary when she is shopping."

I heard him smiling through the phone, "tell me about it. So you're having fun?" suddenly Alice and the chubby gay man walked through the doors carrying multiple boxes of shoes. The boxes decorated beautifully nothing like the other boxes in the store. After Alice came out four other people came out struggling to hold all the boxes. They piled them up around me and Alice grinned.

"um, I don't think fun is the right word." he chuckled. "its going to be a very long day."

"a lot of shoe boxes?" I gaped at his words then laughed.

"yeah how'd you know?" he laughed.

"Alice has a very interactive mind. She had a vision this morning after I figured out your guys schedule, and all I heard in her mind was so many shoes so little time. So I assumed that she brought out a _scary _amount of shoes for you to try on." he ended proudly, of course so proud of his research. He could of warned me!

"you have no idea. Well shouldn't dwell on what has to be done." he laughed and said that I was right.

"well what are you going to do today?" I asked him. Hoping it was something productive and not have anything to do with his obsession with me. Alice was back in her shoe throwing stage. All I did was stick out my purple toe nails and let her slip shoes on and off until she gasped.

She grabbed the cell phone and murmured only slow enough for me to catch it, "Edward she'll call you back I found the perfect shoe." of course this _is _Alice we're talking about only she would have a heart attack over the perfect shoe.

I giggled at Alice, "oh the drama Alice, oh the drama." I laughed a little louder this time before I gazed down at the shoe. My mouth fell open, it was beautiful the satin material and the ribbon lacing up my pale leg. Two of my purple toe nails stuck out the tip of the shoe. The shoe was gorgeous.

"so do you like it?" Alice was hopping up and down again and I smiled and opened my mouth when suddenly my eyes caught the heel.

"oh my god Alice that thing is a death trap!" I gaped open mouthed at it the heel was a tooth pick a beautiful completely gorgeous tooth pick but that was besides the point I was not wearing that walking down the aisle totally deadly!

Alice pouted. "but they match beautifully! You hate them I see that now! Maybe you should just go barefoot!" I'm sure if she could cry she would be.

I groaned, "you know Alice I want to wear these shoes but can we get some flats maybe? Or even a relatively thick heel?" I begged her, I was not going to fall on my face in front of everyone at my wedding. I knew I wouldn't fall on my face Edward would catch me but how would I explain to every nonvampire at the wedding how he was standing in front of the preacher one moment and then the next moment he was catching me. I can only imagine, "I know how this may look, but Edward is a vampire and so is his family don't worry they don't feed off of humans! Oh and did I mention he is almost a hundred and ten? Good thing he doesn't look it huh?! Well lets get on with this wedding." yeah that would end well.

She forced a smile, "you are aware that you will only walk less than a foot on your own, right?" I looked at her confused, "Charlie will walk you all the way down the aisle then you will walk at least a foot where Edward will pull you close. You will be _fine!" _she started giggling pulling me and my horrid shoes to the register to check out.

She handed the ruffled gay penguin man her credit card and he swiped it. "so what was the insane need for pushing me past my mental limits ladies?" he smiled yes definitely gay.

Alice giggled and pointed at me, "Bella's getting married in two days! She needed shoes!" he clapped his pudgy hands and jumped up and down he waddled around his desk and squeezed me in a hug. It felt like hugging the Pillsbury dough boy. He smiled.

"Congratulations! He is one lucky guy!" he poked me with his doughy finger. EWW! Gay and fat, gross. His greasy black comb over shone under the light.

Alice smiled, "well we have a lot of things to do today for the wedding, we must leave." she smiled and squeezed his arm.

"of course!" he smiled jumping up and down his fat rolls wiggling. I've never met a fat gay guy before, it was weirdly disgusting.

"bye." we waved at him when we walked out.

The second we ran the corner we started cracking up, and screaming. "EWW!" it was a hilarious bonding experience.

"wait what about the other shoes?" she rolled her eyes.

"oh Bella do you really think that little of me?" she looked up at me through her thick eyelashes reminding me of Edward. I needed to call him back.

"no.." I smiled at her.

"already taken care of. I found the perfect shoes, silk turquoise flats." she smiled.

"oh yeah, so everyone else gets to be in safe shoes except for me." Alice laughed and slapped my shoulder. "owie!" I murmured.

"yeah, its your wedding day Bella its suppose to be beautiful and scary and dangerous plus wonderful all at the same time."

"is that how it was for you?" I looked deep into her eyes and saw the love enter her eyes.

"yes." she smiled at me touching my hand softly.

"will you tell me about it, Alice? Please?!" I begged.

"of course Bella, well we had a traditional minister and I had a gorgeous dress, nothing like yours of course but I was in love with it. It was long and lacey red flowers were sewn all the way down it. We had beautiful red roses everywhere. Jasper liked it reminded him of blood. I know horrid in its own way but I liked it too. Everything was deep red and white and black. He was calm and loving, so was I and every other person in the room. There were flowers on every inch of the church. It was completely gorgeous. He looked amazing he was wearing his war uniform. It was everything I ever imagined." she smiled lovingly as she gazed up at the ceiling of the mall. She looked like she was day dreaming. The truth was though that she was remembering the best moment in her life, the day she was tied to her true love. I couldn't wait for my turn to tell someone about the wonderful day that I will be blessed to be tied to Edward. She shook a bit, "oh my gosh we just lost a lot of time we have to start shopping!"

she dragged me all through the mall, after we picked up the bridesmaids dresses we went to the food court and got some Arbys. I couldn't help but chew slowly. It made me feel sick to my stomach when I eat fast. It was hard to eat slow when Alice was jumping out of her seat.

"Hey Alice where is Esme and Rose?" right on time they rushed into the cafeteria taking a seat beside Alice and I.

"is everything taken care of ladies?" Alice asked them they murmured something too fast for me to understand and Alice nodded.

"okay I'm done what's next?" Alice and Rosalie giggled, and I felt an ambush coming up in the near future, and I'm not even psychic.

Alice brought out a blindfold pulled it over my eyes and before I knew it I was flying.


	11. Over My Dead Burning Ripped Up Body

Chapter 10

Over my dead burning ripped up body

"okay Bella you can take your blindfold off." I slipped it off and stood in horror.

"No absolutely not!" I looked around, I cant believe they took me to _Victoria Secret! _lacey and silk panties and push up bras were lined everywhere plus sexy bikinis and sleep wear. I shook my head.

"come on think of Edward!" I turned but Alice wasn't the one who yelped it was Rosalie.

"I am, I will not look good in that, that skimpy crap." I stuck my tongue out in disgust. "now you or Alice, that's a different story. You guys have to remember I am not a gorgeous vampire…yet."

"you're a gorgeous human, Bella. Edward loves you. Lets give him a little happiness don't you think that's fair?" I let out my breath, Rosalie was right. _Let them have their fun. _I kept reminding myself why I was doing all this. I wanted everyone to be happy especially Edward.

"Fine." I sat down stubbornly on a silky very squishy chair and waited for them to bring me the sexy overpriced underwear. Alice grabbed everything off the racks that was my size and pushed me into the changing room, I realized I hadn't called Edward back and I felt bad. I missed him. I'd call him after we left Victoria Secret. This was worse than the shoe store. "try this one on and let me see it," Alice and Rosalie were in the changing room with me, it was fairly big in size, for a changing room. I couldn't help feeling a little closter phobic and I felt kind of insecure with two amazingly beautiful girls examining me waiting for me to take my clothes off. It was strange but I kept having to remind myself that this was for them and that we would be sisters in two days anyway. I took a deep breath and tugged on my shirt and unsnapped my bra. I slid on the new one and matching panties. Rosalie and Alice whooped and hollered.

"woo! Sexy momma!" they screeched. I rolled my eyes and examined myself in the mirror. I guess I did look sexy in my own way. I definitely wasn't vampire gorgeous but I was pretty nice looking right now for a human. I giggled and put on a flirty face and waved at the mirror.

"hey Edward wanna play a game?" they started cracking up. I turned around and blushed. "you think he'll like it?"

"lets see." Rosalie showed me her cell phone I gasped. They were taping me flirting with myself.

"you wouldn't dare!" I pointed a finger poking her perfect nose.

"too late!" Alice and her started cracking up louder shaking the room.

Edward POV

My cell phone beeped I had a new text message, I looked down and pressed view now. I stared open mouthed at the beautiful sight of an angel in underwear. It was Bella my perfect beautiful Bella examining herself in a mirror it looked like then she started talking her voice made butterflies enter me.

This happened to me a lot when I was around her. Emmett raced over to my side and swiped the phone right out of my hands, I growled at him I didn't want him seeing Bella exposed like that. "Hey Edward wanna play game?" _yes, yes I do! _I frowned and punched Emmett in the jaw. He laughed, _just kidding Eddiekenz don't have a heart attack. Since apparently you have a heart! _Emmett talked to me a lot through his head, it was very annoying.

He pressed view again. "no." Emmett put on a puppy dog face and suddenly I got another text, this one was from Bella.

_OMG! Edward I'm so embarrassed. Did I look horrible? Be honest! Apparently Alice stole all my underwear and burned it so I have to buy new ones. I LUVV YOU!_

Emmett whooped, "woo! She almost looked half as good as Rose in her Victoria Secret panties." I rolled my eyes. Rosalie was beautiful but she wasn't Bella. I texted her back.

_You look gorgeous. I still cant believe you picked me! I love you with all my heart, I can't wait to see you. Buy them really you looked better than anything on this earth. Nothing can compare. _

I smiled feeling all tingly in my abdomen. Jasper made puke sounds in the corner of the room. "what the hell is going on in here I just got some major feeling that I didn't need to feel while I was hunting a deer in the back yard?!" Emmett grabbed my phone again and I reached for it only for him to press view, again.

"hey Edward wanna play a game?" her beautiful voice played through my mind.

Jasper whooped out a cuss word and started laughing. "man my wife is amazing. She looks like a model Edward!" Jasper slapped my back. I rolled my eyes.

"ooh new text!" Emmett held it above my head, I slammed my fist into his nose. He just shook in laughter. Carlisle walked in and looked at us curiously. I glared at him.

_what's going on in here Edward? Do I even want to know?_

"Emmett stole my phone and I'm talking to Bella." I pouted.

"she's sending him dirty texts!" Emmett jumped shaking the furniture in our huge living room. Carlisle eyed me, _what is he talking about Edward?_

I frowned, "you know Emmett the only dirty thing on my phone was texted to me from _Rosalie's phone." _his big mouth dropped open and his hand flew down I grabbed the phone and darted into my room to talk to my love.

I opened the phone and pressed view.

_okay! Edward I love you so much! I cant wait for us to get married, as embarrassed as I am Alice Rose and I are going to send you more videos of the things here so you can decide which you like best. I'm blushing right now! Wish you were here to see it! I love you!_

I smiled at the news, I get to choose my favorite. Then it dawned on me. I hadn't thought about it since, I cant remember she hadn't brought it up. I had to change Bella after the wedding. She would be with me forever. I cringed thinking of the rest of her demands. Before she is changed, that's what she wants. That's what I want, isn't it? I don't want to kill her, or hurt her. Mentally or physically.

I breathed out as my phone beeped, incoming text. View? I pressed it. Bella looked beautiful this time it was a tiny pink silk see through night gown, she was blushing deep scarlet and blew me a kiss. "I love you Edward." I smiled I hadn't heard her voice since this morning. She spun around showing me the back.

My mouth flew open she was gorgeous. More than I expected. Completely devilish. I smiled

I texted her back, _completely devilish I love it. I love you._

Bella's POV 

I spun around smiling, I looked to my two sisters. Edward had just finished picking his favorite undergarments, and I was actually starting to feel good about showing off my body. I shouldn't feel weird about being practically naked in front of my sisters or sending videos of me in panties to my fiancée. Soon I got used to it, but by then we were done. Thank god! I didn't like it that much.

Apparently that was our last stop and the mall was closing. Goodness its been a long day. I slid into the Porsche's passenger seat and leaned back relaxing. I couldn't wait to see Edward. It had been a very long day without him. "what are we doing tomorrow Alice?" her face grew happy.

"I am starting decorating the wedding and picking up the cake and so forth. And _you, _Lauren, Jessica, and Angela are having a girls day at the spa. You're going to get your hair done, and your nails and your going to be massaged and you're going to take a mud bath for me!" she vibrated in her seat. She was overly excited for me. It was ridiculous. "I can't wait to see you I have made all the right arrangement's. you are going to be so happy with yourself after this Bella. I cant wait until we're sisters for real!" she hugged me letting go of the steering wheel I opened my mouth to scream but then I realized we weren't moving any more and icy hands were squeezing me shoulder digging into my skin.


	12. Desperate For Words, Desperate For You

Chapter 11

Desperate for words, Desperate for you

Alice had let go of me, I spun around to be face to face with Edward. "how was shopping love? Di.." before he could finish I was kissing him, pulling myself closer and closer pressing as hard as I could against his granite lips. He let his lips move with mine, I was in deep true desperate love with him. I wanted to kiss him forever another day without him tomorrow. He pulled away I tried to force him back on me but he was to strong it was like trying to push a bolder out of the road, useless and painful. I exhaled loudly showing him I wasn't happy.

"go upstairs and let Alice play dress up she will drive you somewhere, let her and I will see you in an hour or so my lovely almost in a day Mrs. Edward Cullen." I smiled to the Mrs. Edward Cullen part, frankly I smile to anything that has his name in it, but I frowned deeply at the see you in an hour and let Alice play dress up part.

"what ever you say, Mr. Edward Cullen." his smile widened and he kissed me softly and then disappeared. I huffed out warm air and made it upstairs to Alice.

"well you know what to do, have at it! This is the last time we're playing dress up Alice, not counting the wedding." she looked at me confused and then her face went blank for a minute and then she grinned widely.

"you know I don't have to do that much, I've seen what you look like and it wont take much, but you will be gorgeous Bella and he is going to love it!" she dragged me to the closet and pulled out something she bought today. "I bought this for myself," she put her head down sheepishly, "but it looks so good on you. You can have it." in a blink of an eye I was wearing it I looked at myself in the mirror, she was right I was gorgeous.

The dress was black and satin it was sparkling purple and was strapless, my boobs were pushed up by my face showing a _lot _of cleavage. Maybe a little more than I was comfortable with. It was short, just brushing my knees. Suddenly I wish I would have shaved. She slipped on sparkly ballet flats that matched the dress and handed me a box. I looked at it. "Edward wanted me to give this to you." it was a silver heart shaped locket, "he said something about a hand-me-down?" I smiled. I opened it, on the right side there was a tiny black and white picture of Edwards parents, I gasped they were gorgeous. Of course look at their son. But wow, for humans they were beautiful. On the left side there was a picture of Edward and I, he was kissing my head and it appeared as if I was asleep. I looked very peaceful and surprisingly pretty. They must have brushed my hair down and added a little make up before taking this picture but it was very pretty I loved it. It was very spontaneous. I put it on. Alice had to help me with the tiny clasp but it felt good on, like the ring it felt as if it was meant to be there. Alice started working on my hair and makeup in vampire speed and when she was done I was stunned. This couldn't be me.

I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was tied up in a purple ribbon and a few curly strands came down to match my face. I had light pink lipstick on and dark purple eye shadow and dark mascara. I was like a Goth princess. Despite the fact that I was too pretty to be Goth. Alice smiled triumphantly. "well we better go, Edward will be getting impatient." I slipped into 'Bumble Bee' and we were driving at the speed of light I blinked and we were somewhere I'd never seen before.

It looked as if we were in the middle of a forest. "time for the blindfold, you're walking from here princess." I looked at Alice. What is it with her obsession with blindfolds? Did she really think I could walk by myself? I don't even know where we are or where we are going. I couldn't even walk with full eyesight let alone blind.

Soon it was dark, stupid blindfold. Suddenly I was in icy arms, these arms didn't belong to Alice. I was in the arms of my angel.

"you look beautiful." he whispered tugging on my dress.

"where are we, Edward? Please, I want to see." I put my hands up to the blindfold. In a split second it was off and so was my dress. I opened my mouth shockingly. Then looked down. Eh my gawd! Why hadn't I noticed that before? Alice had slipped a bathing suit under my dress. One we got at Victoria Secret today. If it wasn't for the padding and push-upness of it I would have noticed. I looked at Edward he was shirtless.

At that moment I couldn't decide if this was a dream or a nightmare. Then I looked around. Yup this was definitely a dream. I looked in awe at my surroundings. We were on a waterfall. There was a nice little boat down at the bottom of it with a picnic blanket and food on it. Then it dawned on me, "Edward do you want to know something about me?" he looked at me, his liquid topaz eyes got wide.

"like a secret?"

"exactly like a secret." I smiled at him and kissed his cold chest, looking back up at him.

"you know I'm always interested in things about you Bella. Tell me."

"I hate swimming." my face turned upward in a huge grin. I thought about wiggling away and being devilish to him and hurt his feelings just to tape them back up with kisses, but I changed my mind as fun as that sounded I liked being this close to him with his shirt off. He was unbearable, too much to bare.

"too bad." I opened my mouth to disagree with him but too soon we were floating off the cliff. What's with the guys I know and throwing me off cliffs? Its very rude.

The water was warm and that's when I noticed it was sunny out. I surfaced searching for Edward, he was no where to be found. I looked everywhere then suddenly I huge freezing gust of wind flew over me. I looked up and Edward was swinging on a rope swing and plummeting in a cannon ball at least a foot away from me. I screamed and tried to swim away before I was covered in water.

Before I could even consider surfacing I felt something cold and slimy brush my face. Of course your first thought would be, FISH or SNAKE! I did think that, but would a fish or a snake be kissing my lips? I hoped not that would be weird, plus it would make Edward jealous. I laughed at the thought of him wanting to murder a fish or snake because they were getting a little to happy with his fiancée. We surfaced still kissing.

I let go laughing and catching my breath spitting water at him. "do you want to try.." so many thoughts were rushing through my head at that moment, is that why he brought me here? I was considering going back on my word and just doing it right then and there. I was wide eyed and my cheeks were probably as purple as my dress, I wonder where my dress had gone? "Bella? Are you listening to me?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but just shook my head no.

"do you want to try the swing?" I let out my breath, I'm so stupid. I don't know why I always get off into my own little fantasy world.

"sure." I forced a smile. He bought it thankfully. I didn't want to have to explain what I was thinking to him, not right now. Not while we were together. Not the only time I got to spend with him before the wedding. This and tonight was going to be our last moments together as fiancée's. the thought made me happy that we would be husband and wife soon enough but it also made me sad that I wouldn't be able to call him my fiancée any more. Weird.

He helped me climb up the rocks, okay he carried me up the rocks. He showed me how to work the swing and then I held on, stuck my foot in the noose and pushed off. A scream escaped my throat. It wasn't a scared scream, this was exhilarating. It was like running with Edward but not as fast and not quite so breathtakingly terrifying. Just as instructed when I got right into the middle of the water I let go.

A scream of horror escaped Edwards lips. I had let go but my leg was tangled in the noose at the bottom of the swing. I was hanging upside down and swinging my head flying toward the cliff edge. that's when I knew I was going to die.


	13. One Slip Can Leave You Breathless

Chapter 12

One slip can leave you breathless

Edward jumped for me, missing only by a few inches. I watched him plummet down into the water mouth opened wide in horror. The swing was moving fast and I was waiting for my life to flash before my eyes. It didn't. I came closer and closer to the edge. I closed my eyes and a tear fell. I waited for the pain. It didn't come, I opened my eyes seeing a flash of white run speedily up the cliff edge.

I exhaled realizing that I had swung up but I barely missed the cliff edge. That would have been horrible. I breathed out and suddenly I was moving toward the cliff edge faster, and faster. I held my breath. What is going on? What did I do in this life to deserve this?! Someone up there in the sky must be angry because I am in love with a vampire. How rude, well you know what buddy? This is non of your beeswax! So just leave me alone! In a matter of seconds I was being raised into the air. Going to heaven? Dying is easy, I never imagined it like that. I closed my eyes and let myself drift up. I opened my eyes yup, I was so dead. How silly of me to think I actually didn't hit that! HA! Good one. Death was pretty painless. So much better than being hurt.

The white light was the most prettiest thing I'd ever seen, it shown all around me. I closed my eyes again and when I opened it I screamed. I was eye to eye with an angel. The angel must of came to get me! thank you angel! His facial features were distorted by the blinding light. He glistened shooting rainbows everywhere.

"Bella, why do you enjoy giving me heart attacks? I love you don't you see? No more danger for you." _I'm sorry I didn't mean too, I love you too angel. Nope no more danger, not while I'm with you._

My foot was throbbing and I didn't like it. "owie." I murmured. In a matter of seconds I was in the freezing arms of the angel he took me out of the light. _I don't want to go angel. I want to go to heaven. I don't want to stay here. I'm cold. _once we were out of the sun I realized the angel was Edward.

Either I am dead and so is Edward, or I am alive and so is Edward. Either reality I can live with, since I'll be with _Edward._

"what happened?" he didn't speak, he just kissed me.

"I'm so, so sorry." dang it I am dead.

"its fine we're together." I forced a smile, it wasn't fine. I never got closure. Things were too distant and I felt the tears coming on. I didn't think angels could cry. Edward wasn't crying.

"Bella what's wrong? You're safe now." I looked at him and shook hard through my sobs.

" I didn't get to say goodbye to Charlie, its happening too fast. Too fast.." Edward looked confused.

"the wedding? Is that what you're talking about? Its not too late to back out Bella." we're dead, could we still get married in heaven. I suppose anything is possible. I couldn't help but wonder why he didn't understand me though.

"no, not that. I will never regret that choice Edward. Mark my words, quote me if you will. I _want to marry you."_

he stared at my intently. "then what's the problem?" I breathed out loudly. I didn't know angels had to breath. Heaven looked a lot like the real world now that I thought about it…strange.

"no, me _dying. _that's what I'm talking about! Everyone is going to be heartbroken when they find our bodies here Edward!" he looked at me in horror. Oh my god it had just dawned on him. What a horrible way to find out you're dead. Wait how did he die?

"Bella we are not dead." I stared at him. That was the only explanation, wasn't it? Awh crap.

"we…aren't?" he shook his head and laughed, suddenly I started laughing too.

"you scared me to death, you are not funny." I stared at him.

"you are the one who had me convinced I was _dead!" _we looked out, the sun was setting I looked at it. It was glorious. I turned to Edward. He was smirking at the sunset, I smiled and snuggled up to him. _He was glorious. _what did I do to deserve such a perfect man by my side? How can he love me, look at me!

A tear filled my eye and glistened there for a moment before he wiped it away and kissed the wet spot it left…

Edward's POV

I gazed down at the beautiful angel in my arms. She thought she had died, I wouldn't have let her die. I did like the idea of us being in heaven together though. I sighed and kissed her strawberry scented hair. Oh how I love that smell.

When I missed her only by a few inches only a couple of hours earlier. I was so terrified she was going to die I fell like a rock. A useless big cold rock. How could she love me if I couldn't protect her from a rock and a rope? I'm surprised I have kept her alive so far.

I want nothing more then her living a grateful long human life. Okay I am lying to myself, I admit defeat. I _do _want more. I want to marry her, live with her, then have children with her. I want to kiss her pregnant belly and sing lullabies to it. And talk to it like an insane person. I want to keep a baby book and thousands of useless videos of our child doing nothing. I want to keep a baby book and hear our child's first words. I want to walk into Forks High in fifteen years, for our high school reunion. I wanted to see Mike Newton, in all his glory, gaze at us. I wanted to watch his jealously as I walked in holding her hand, I wanted him to see all that we have become together.

More than anything else, I want to sit on an old porch swing watching the sunset, caressing her beautifully wrinkled face my hand sahaking from Arthritis and simply from her presence.

I could never give her that, any of that. As much as I want to. If I could be human for her I would be in an instant. I hope she knows that. I breathed out heavily, she yawned and snuggled to my chest. I smiled, this was everything I ever wanted. To be next to her, while she was like this so beautiful. The full moon made her wet skin shine, she snuggled closer shivering.

I grabbed a blanket from the side of the tree that I placed there so we could watch the sunset together, at least that part of the day hadn't been ruined. I wrapped it around her and hummed her lullaby. Soon she was snoring softly. I kissed her hair gently, I cant believe I was actually this close to her, while she was dressed like that. She smelled delicious, but I wasn't moving away. Nothing could move me from this position.

I ran my fingers through her wet tangles, I pulled my fingers away not wanting to rip her hair. Tiny water droplets were clinging to my finger, they reminded me of tears. Bella's tears, the tears she cried when I left her…NO! I wasn't going to think about that again I was never leaving her again I was going to give her everything that she wants that I _can _give her. As much as I want everything for her.

I heard a squeak, it sounded much too loud to me. Of course it wont even stir Bella, its just squirrels chattering. I laughed and decided to watch them for a while. They chased each other one holding a rather large walnut. I smiled watching them chase each other. You don't see that very often. I looked up at the sound of flapping wings. Three rather large birds were swooping down towards the two squirrels. They wanted that walnut.

The birds swooped down to grab for it, the little creature wouldn't give up the nut. Stupid thing just give them the nut and you will live! I covered Bella's ears, this was going to get ugly. I didn't have the heart to wake her. The big birds swooped down and stuck their beaks into its back, the other squirrel fighting along side it.

They were clawing it and pecking it, it was bleeding. I held my breath, and pinched the bridge of my nose. I had to resist. If I could resist Bella bleeding, and she is my singer, then I can handle a poor little squirrels blood. The birds clawed the poor thing until it couldn't move any more. I, as a predator, know the tingly feeling that comes with the kill. Even though its not my kill, I still have that tingling feeling in my abdomen.

I growled and the birds flew away screeching and the other squirrel dashed up the tree. After a few minutes of mourning silence the other squirrel crept down the tree and went over to its mate, is what I assumed was what the connection was between the two squirrels. It went over cautiously and started licking the wounds. The broken squirrel squeaked, and its mate examined it and I almost saw wetness in its eyes. I wasn't aware a squirrel felt emotion. But this one did.

I suppose I shouldn't judge, though, I've never seen a vampire fall in love with a human. Until now. I smiled at the thought. Soon enough the squirrel ran away taking the walnut with him, the only thing left of his one true love. Like I had with Bella, I've never spoken that to anyone. The fact that when I left her I 'borrowed' one of her clothing items and a stuffed animal and bought her strawberry shampoo, I wasn't leaving without a trace of her. I also copied the pictures of her and I.

I don't know why she always thinks I'm leaving her, that didn't work so well for me. I'm not doing that again. The world is strange when you're in love, its like it turns the opposite way it usually does. Turing everything topsy-turvy, its like running a thousand miles per hour on a straight away you keep going and you cant stop no matter what. Maybe a better example is when vampires feed, when the blood touches our tongues we suck and suck and can't stop. Impossible. But when the world is spinning backwards when you're in love, you're priorities change. Like right now for example, I could have eaten that squirrel whole but I wont move for my life. Not for all the blood in the world. I wasn't moving, not while my angel slept on me.

"_Edward stay with me…" _my angel whispered to me.

"okay, forever." I told her, in the soft loving voice I liked to use when I spoke to her.

"_look at her Edward, come to mommy! Oh look Edward she's walking to me!" _my mouth dropped open, she wants children!

"_Walk to daddy now! Oh Edward! Look at her, yes go on! Go to daddy! Oh Edward she's walking to you! Oh I love you so much!" _I smiled wider, she wanted to have children with me!


	14. A Dreamless Reality

Chapter 13

A dreamless reality

I glanced at Edward, I was so proud. She was gorgeous! Our baby, _our_ baby. I couldn't help smiling at her our baby, she was incredibly perfect. My hair Edwards green eyes. She walked toward Edward, his eyes were incredibly happy. She met his arms and I smiled with glee. He was a wonderful father. "dada!" she squealed. Her first word, it wasn't mama but I was equally happy with her first word dada! She loved Edward, as do I.

His eyes were soft and tears came to them as he held his baby close. I smiled warmly completely ignoring the fact that vampires couldn't cry. "I love you, both of you." he smiled at me.

"DADA!" she giggled again giggling wildly. He smiled.

"say it again." she obeyed her father.

"dada." he smiled with glee.

"again." he commanded.

"da.da." I think she was enjoying that the fact of her talking was amusing him so.

He laughed, _"again!" _awh where's my camera? This was beyond adorable! I smiled warmly, he beckoned me over to him. I slid into his lap.

He wrapped his arms around me as our darling baby danced around singing "DADA! DADA! DAAADAAAA!!" I kissed underneath his chin. He was shaking from happiness, he really loved our baby. And I was beyond glad. Suddenly things got darker and she fell. Her face shocked as she plummeted toward the side of the glass coffee table. It shattered, glass flying every which way. Cutting her skin. I looked at my husband his eyes were terrified, and surprisingly black.

Were they like that before? I don't think so. He wiggled from his Indian-style position on the floor. He picked me up and placed me on the couch. "Edward I.." he turned to me his eyes blacker than black. "you stay here now, the monster must feed." as soon as he said that he had transformed into the face of James.

"NOOO!!" I started sobbing uncontrollably but I didn't dare move an inch. My baby was going to die.

"_Bella, Bella, Bella." _James voice spat at me, this made me cry harder,

"No not her she's just a child!" I sobbed louder now.

"_the monster muuusssstttt feeeddd!!" _he launched himself at me and I opened my eyes gasping for air.

Edwards POV

She had been whispering her dream to me for the last few hours, it was a nice look inside her head. Well at least the parts that she was saying. Some of which made no since. In a matter of minutes she was sobbing and shaking and she suddenly woke up gasping.

"Bella its okay! It was just a dream everything is fine!" I soothed her, waiting for her to relax in my arms. She didn't.

"is the baby…" she was cut off short, "oh." she must have realized that she never actually became pregnant with me. That must have been a relief from what ever made her sob so hard in her mind. "the dream was horrible Edward."

She whispered it to me, I smiled at the whole beginning wondering what was so horrible about dada being our child's first words. I found that very spectacular. Then she came to the part where she fell, I gasped at that. Our beautiful daughter hurt and bleeding. I waited to hear my reaction, she told me one of my biggest fears. My eyes were darker than night. I wanted to feed off my child.

That would never happen. I wouldn't let it. She told me my words and I gasped I was sure that that's why she was bawling. She was probably terrified of me now. I would understand if she thought her subconscious was telling her not to marry the monster. It makes since. But then she told me the worst of it, I turned into James.

"Bella, love, he is never coming back." she breathed out finally relaxing in my arms.

"I know." she let out more air from her mouth, snuggling closer to me. "we were just so happy, I loved our baby and someone was threatening that and I didn't do anything to stop him I just cried. What kind of mother was I?" tears started to flow down her cheeks.

"an amazing one! It was a dream Bella. You couldn't help anything. Shh! Please don't cry, I love you so much." I cooed. I wished desperately for myself to believe the words I was saying. There may not be a threat at the moment but that sure didn't mean that everything was okay. I wanted a child, and so did she but I couldn't give that to her. It felt wrong.

Maybe I'm asking to much, am I? I suppose I'm being selfish, I'm asking for to much in this world. I've already got Bella, am I pushing it asking for more? Even if it was for her also? I let out a long unneeded breath and kissed her hair closing my eyes its getting late.

"lets go home." she nodded wiping her eyes. I carried her to the Volvo sliding her onto my lap as I drove, I wasn't letting go of her not now not ever.

She stirred as I laid her into my bed, I snuggled close to her. "mmm, Edward?" she whispered.

"as always, love." she grinned tiredly up at me, she yawned snuggling up to my chest. Usually I would object but I didn't see the use of making myself suffer, I'm being unbelievably selfish lately. Oh well, she doesn't seem to mind. "how was your sleep?"

"always best when you're holding me." she smiled at me scarlet taking over her cheeks. I knew I was grinning like a mad man, but I couldn't help it. I loved it when she blushed, not to mention the fact that she said she slept better than usual.

"the night was rather enjoyable for me too." I kissed her forehead, moving away not wanting to push my limits.

"no," she whispered. I looked at her questioningly. "I want you to kiss me for real." I obeyed her. I didn't have a choice, even if I did that would have been my choice.

I pressed my lips against hers, she was so soft and unbelievably warm. I stroked the side of her and laid back down beside her. She closed her eyes and snuggled me.

After I was sure she was sleeping again she whispered something, I was sure she was sleep talking until I saw her fingers twitch intertwined with mine. "in a day we will be married, tomorrow and tomorrow night I wont be able to see you. In fact I wont see you until the wedding." she frowned and smiled at the same time, I wasn't sure how that worked but I didn't know how else to describe what she was doing.

"yes I am aware, and its today actually. Tomorrow we will be married and we'll be off on our honey moon." she kissed my ear, shivering. I know what that meant to her. I know what it meant to me.

"are you happy Edward?" I looked at her, I couldn't help but wonder what she mean by that.

"of course, what do you mean Bella?"

She hesitated and I focused, knowing it was completely pointless, I was never going to be able to read Bella's mind no matter how hard I tried. I tried hard. "um, well. With me Edward? Are you happy with me. Are you happy with the fact that I'm abnormal and the fact that I attract danger. What if when I change I take my extreme danger quality to the vampire world and it just brings more trouble what if.." I didn't get it. I understand what she meant what she was talking about of course I was happy with her.

"Bella you ask the strangest and dumbest questions. You ask questions you already know the answer to." I smiled at her kissing her soft lips again. I wanted to be here forever and never stop being here. "of course I'm happy with you, I don't mind that you're abnormal I like it. It makes you different from every other girl I love you for that. If you bring over your calling for danger to the other life then we'll just have to fight harder wont we?" I forced a laugh praying she takes her amazing way of smelling good or blushing over to the dark side and not her calling of danger. It would definitely make things easier for us.

As if anything was ever easy for us. It never made since for her to love me, a monster. Even in her dreams I am a monster. I shook at the thought glad she loved me no matter what that meant. Even if it meant she was insanely out of her mind, I could live with that. I just feel like she deserves better than me, all the time and….my thought was cut short by her expression it was hard and I could only imagine what she was thinking.

"what are you thinking?" I stared into her eyes trying to force it out bye dazzlement.

She exhaled much to loudly, but I wasn't complaining her breath smelled divine. "about how I don't deserve you." I started bellowing. I couldn't help it, that had to prove something and not only that she was in fact _insane _but we were soul mates. "what's so funny?" she looked up at me, glared may be the better word.

"nah, nah…YES! I..I.." I couldn't stop laughing, I wasn't sure why now. She just made me so happy.

_there seems to be great pleasure going on above me…I think I'm going to puke…and I cant even puke._

_What the hell is going on up there? Oh my GOD! Never mind I can live without that image! _

_I am feeling way to much happiness for it to be my own, I'm not even with my wife…_

_My sons finally happy, listen to him. Edward if your listening you shouldn't be you should be focusing on Bella._

_And I thought Emmett and Rosalie were annoying, and bothersome…I suppose I've never seen Edward so…ecstatic? I'm not sure if that would be the right word for this specific situation butt.. _

I tuned out their thoughts, or I tried to. But they just made me laugh even harder. Bella looked like she was about to have a break down. I couldn't keep myself from laughing so I tried to send her a message, I pointed to her ring and pressed my finger to my lips then to it.

She stared at me sadly still. I breathed in and out calming myself, when a thought jumped into my head.

_Eddiekenz has finally done the deed, I'm so proud to call him my brother!_

I rolled over clutching my stomach, it hurt from the suppressive laughter. I didn't know where it came from I just feel so happy. I'm getting married, I suppose it didn't really dawn on me before, I was really doing it.

"EDWARD!" Bella was sobbing now, the uncontrollable laughter quieted and even the thoughts in the house were silenced. I pulled her in close to me.

"I'm sorry love, Bella, Isabella. I was just thinking the same thing." she chocked and starting bawling longer and harder the bed was shaking and her eyes were red.

"so you agree, I don't deserve you.." she managed through her tears.

"NO! absolutely not. I _meant _I was thinking the same thing, as in I don't think I deserve you. Can we please not speak of this any longer? You look exhausted." her smile looked forced but she kissed me then obediently laid down. I started humming her lullaby and before long she was limp and utterly beautiful in my arms.


	15. In Your Arms Forever I'll Be

Chapter 14

In your arms, forever I'll be

I refused to open my eyes, I was so tired and I knew when I woke up I would have to leave Edward. That was going to be difficult. "Bella," he whispered my name but I refused to open my eyes. I tried to calm my heart rate, but trying made it accelerate. I tried to force a snore, or some other sleeplike quality that would make him think I was asleep.

My fake snore came out more like a snort, and he started laughing shaking the bed. Then I couldn't hold it in my eyelids fluttered open and I started laughing too.

"you are too hilarious Bella." he mused. His eyes were dark topaz, he was going to need to hunt today, I knew especially if we were going to be alone for quite awhile before my change. I smiled at that thought. Technically we weren't alone now, we were never truly alone. He ruffled my chocolate tangles. "you need to shower, love."

"oh so now I stink?!" I forced searching his face hoping he would break back into laughter, I felt all tingly I wanted to laugh more with him. He was right when he said before that in this house they could be themselves. He was truly Edward when we were here. No boundaries, with the exceptional boundary that only effected me. But either way this was him, and only him and I loved it.

"of course not, but you did go swimming yesterday and came home and went straight to bed so I figured you would want a shower." he was so caring, I looked down. We were both still in our bathing suits. I felt very self conscious at that moment. I pulled the blanket up to my chin and rolled over.

"no I just want to sleep." he was under the covers with me and his arm was soon around me. He pulled my closer and turned me to look at him. We were so close and he was a bit hungry it made me nervous for him, this must be torture for him. I blushed deep scarlet.

"I don't know why you're hiding, your completely gorgeous." I blushed deeper my face was blazing. "may I compare thee to a summers day?" he whispered. I knew he meant the sun as he quoted one of my favorite poems. He loved the sun, he loved the warmth and in comparing me to that, that meant he loved me too. Of course I knew that but still, he thought I was beautiful. Me ms. Plane Jane herself, Isabella Marie Swan. Come on talk about ms. Generic USA! But still…

"I cant compare to Rosalie or Alice." I encountered, "or any other vamp girl for that matter."

"you're right, Bella." I knew I was right but maybe I heard him wrong. I hope I did. "they aren't even -686,790,875,644,567,688,090,952,000 that beautiful compared to you." I wasn't sure that was even possible, those girls were more beautiful then models and he thought I was that much more gorgeous then them. It was shocking. I didn't even know that number existed, and I couldn't repeat it for my life.

I blushed, "I'll take that shower now I think," he kissed my forehead and nodded and in an instant he was gone.

"you guys will see each other tomorrow." Alice rolled her eyes at Edward and I. my eyes were tearing up, I couldn't help it I was really going to miss him today.

"I know." we both muttered staring into each others eyes.

"you can go hunting." I told him kissing a purple circle under his right eye.

"I don't wanna." he whispered playfully. His thumb made circles on my lower back and I squashed myself closer to him, he didn't object thankfully.

"you are aware I'm going to look different next time I see you." I told him, Alice assured me that I was going to look completely gorgeous but I wasn't to sure how he was going to react.

"I know," he murmured smiling. "Alice is having mental hysterias, you better go. I'll hunt if it will make you feel better." he squeezed me tightly molding us together for a moment.

"mental and physical hysterias. She is hyperventilating." I forced a sad giggle, and blushed deeply thinking about something embarrassing so he could see that deep blush that he loved so much. "when you're feeling okay, I feel okay. Right now you don't feel very good. You need food just as much as I do. Maybe I should be just as pushy as you are." he sighed agreeing with me letting me go after pressing his icy lips to mine.

I eyed Angela curiously, "what about Ben?" she looked down sheepishly.

"well, we kinda.." Jessica squealed. Lauren gaped at her wide eyed. Then what she had said dawned on me. Eh my good_ness! _they had done…

"yeah.." Jessica was giggling, we were all sitting in the sauna in white towels sweating bullets. The room was filled with a deep fog to where we had to squint to see each other. Angela was sitting extremely close to me so I could see her clearly, apparently I'm not the only one who looks like a tomato when she's embarrassed.

"soo…" Lauren pressed, I felt bad for Angela this was obviously a touchy subject for her.

She blushed deeper, "it was…" both girls were staring at her deeply, I blushed for her then as I saw her look down I wondered if she was ashamed of it, I would have to ask her later when we were alone.

"so Jess, how are you and Mike?" I looked at her, pink fluttered across her flawless face.

"its horrible." she glared at me, ever since Edward had left and I was depressed she had been very angry at me. When I did things like that, that embarrassed her she gave me the death stare. It cut a deep hole inside me. "we barely even kiss, he's still completely obsessed with you Bella."

I felt bad, I could see Angela feeling sorry for me when Lauren popped into the conversation.

"what about you and Mr. Edward-completely-perfect-Cullen?" I tried to keep my face the same, but blush crept over my skin making it sizzle a bit with fire.

"well, we kiss a lot." the three girls squealed, "but that's as far as we've gotten. He is very old fashioned." I exhaled knowing I disappointed them.

"old fashioned? How can you stand that?" Lauren shot.

"I like it, the way he is, is what I fell in love with."

"love?" Jessica questioned, staring at me. Like she didn't already know.

"mmm huh." I murmured and this time Angela was the only one who squealed. "he does the most romantic things for me though." I told them.

They moved in closer to me, beckoning me to continue. "well, just yesterday he had Alice get me all dressed up and without me knowing it she slipped a bathing suit on me and he took me to the most gorgeous cliffs and we went swimming." I told them about yesterday, leaving out the part about me falling and thinking I was dead.

They 'oooo'd' and 'awhhhhhh'd' waiting me to tell them another adorable Edward moment. "he sneaks through my window every night after Charlie goes to sleep." they gasped and giggled slapping me playfully.

"for how long?" Jessica said between playful giggles.

"every night for the past year plus a few months." I giggled. So much for a 'girls day away from Edward' all we were doing was talking about boys.

"eh my _gawd!_" Angela managed between gasps and giggles. "and how does he manage _that?" _

"he walks down to my house and sneaks in through the window." I laughed loudly shaking.

Lauren and Angela gaped at me, "and Charlie doesn't catch you two?" Jessica questioned, what is this an interrogation. Am I on candid camera?

"only once, in the morning on the weekend. that's when I told him I was engaged."

"how did he react to that?" the steam had rose so I didn't see who had said that. I leaned my head back against the head rest.

"he flipped out then got all calm and gave me his blessing. But Renée disowned me, she hates me and isn't even coming to the wedding. Can you believe that? I thought I could die. If Edward would have let me, I would have." I forced a laugh, but tears formed instead I touched the dial and turned up the heat and leaned back and let the black mist swallow me.


	16. AUTHORS APOLOGIES

**Hello Wonderful FANS,**

**I apologize for the inconvinence of chapter 4, it was fully underlined I'll try to fix that but I figured you all wont mind if I write the next chapter first, peer pressure is horrible. Everyone wants the next chapter well READ AND REVIEW!!**

**LUVV UUU ALLLL!!**

**KaYkAy**


	17. Dirty

**hey y'all. i decided to start doin the whole authors notes on the chptr. tehe mwahahah. im so evil. i hope u like this chptr. it took 4eva 2 write jus 2 xcited 4 the wedding to write anything interesting about Bellas stupid spa date crap. lol its still cool tho my frnd likes it. (my only review. sob) pllllzzz review only since she reviewd is y i put up a next chptr. u dnt kno how bad it is beggin 4 reviews, (i hate it when ppl do it), but i need them like i need air. this story wont survive w.o them**

**PLZZZ! CANNNTT BBRRREEEEATTTTHHHH!!**

**enjoy**

**kk**

Chapter 15

Dirty

"OW!" I did not appreciate the Korean woman that was scrubbing away my nail beds. I only had so much to spare. Not to mention I was sitting in a pit of mud completely naked. I felt so completely dirty. I grinded my teeth together as another Korean woman tortured my toes. Why was it that everyone else was enjoying the trip but me? I didn't like girls days, I liked Edward days. I didn't appreciate the separation anxiety that was dawning on me at this very moment.

I needed saving, I wanted Edward to come and get me I was _not _enjoying myself. I debated for a few minutes on weather I should or shouldn't call him. I decided against it. As much as I was hating this he needed to hunt, and I needed to not be selfish.

"done. You, done." the Korean girl who was doing my toes whispered pointing at me, her English wasn't good but I could still understand. I examined my nails. They were really pretty white French tips with red roses winding up them. Completely gorgeous. My toes matched and I exhaled oh well it was worth it I suppose.

I grabbed my cell phone and dialed the number that I loved oh so much, "greetings, you have reached Edwards cell phone. Please leave a message and I will be sure to call you back. And if this is my true one and only love, Bella, breath I'll be there as soon as possible I love you." _beep._

"Edward, relax I'm fine. I just wanted to call and say I love you and happy hunting and Alice is actually paying for time for me to lay in mud naked, I just thought you would like to know." I giggled, hehe devilish he deserves a little longing. "I miss you a lot I love you I'll see you tomorrow. I'll sneak a call before bed it wont be the same without you bye."

I exhaled and stood up, then I saw flashes of light. I blinked the spots away suddenly staring into the eyes of Jessica's cell phone. "no!"

"Edwards going to _love this!" _they wailed. Why was everyone sending Edward naughty texts of me practically nude. Thank god for the gross mud that was coding onto my pale skin.

"don't," I begged them, this was complete torture.

I jumped over sloshing into the mud grabbing her cell phone going deep into the disgusting brown muck, her phone and all. I was face first spitting out mud when I arose. I cursed loudly spitting out mud. Everyone was laughing uncontrollably. I wiggled up slipping in deeper making everyone slip deep into their mud pits too, from their shaking laughter.

I tried to get up putting my hands on the tile beside Jessica's mud pit. I forced myself up with my hands, of course being me I slipped smacking my head on the tile. _ouch! _surprisingly instead of crying I started laughing. Maybe I had gone loopy from being away from Edward for so long, and soaking in icky muck. Maybe there was unknown fumes from the mud that had seeped into my skin making me officially insane.

Not that I minded. I don't want to be away from Edward and be depressed even if that means being mud-covered and completely and utterly naked beside girls that were my friends but weren't Alice. I hated to compare them to my best friend, but it was hard not to. They just didn't understand, they would never understand. Even if they wanted to.

I felt like crying under my laughter, I would never be able to have a day like this with them ever again. By the time I am perfect around people it will be to late. I cant go to them looking eighteen years old when they look thirty. This is what I want though, so it shouldn't matter what I am loosing. I just wish I would have spent more time with them, sitting in the mud being insanely goofy… my thoughts were interrupted by Jessica.

"OH MY GOD GET YOUR NAKED BOOTY OFFA ME BELLA!!" she was laughing but a deadly serious look held in her eyes.

I forced a laugh, it sounded a little too fake. "like you don't _love it!" _I wiggled around on her everyone laughing, but I felt a little awkward us both being nude and all but I ignored it trying to force myself off of her finally succeeding. "um, I'm going to go shower so I can fix my hair I'll meet you back at the hotel tonight. Kay?"

"KAY!" they all wailed settling back into their mud peacefully, I couldn't help but stare at Jessica. She hadn't settled back in as much as everyone else. She looked tense and angry underneath her smile. My heart sank, she was my best friend. Angela smiled at me warmly giving me a double thumbs up, I couldn't help but think that she had warmed herself up higher on my friend scale then Jess.

I gave them a little wave and slugged out to the showers. I stepped under the hot water washing over my body. Brown slush sunk down the drain. I breathed in the hot sweet steam fill my lungs. I started to hum, it wasn't what I figured I'd be humming though.

"_Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for I can't help it there's nothin' I want more Ya know it's true Everything I do I do it for you." _I couldn't help feeling tears, I missed Edward. My sobs were drowned out by the swishing of the boiling water and my tears were washed away. I scrubbed my body and decided to bring my strawberry shampoo with me to the hairdresser no reason getting out of habit, plus Edward loves it.

I stepped into the salon. It was plain but yet completely professional. I knew Alice knew what she was talking about when she said "the worlds greatest hair dresser". Alice had wondered why she worked here instead of somewhere doing actresses hair. I promised I'd ask.

"Isabella Swan?" I woman asked, I nodded and followed her to the back of the salon.

I walked into the little cabby where I assumed the famous Draka Loingwinz worked. I walked in and saw a tall brisk lady with dark skin that reminded me of Jacob instantly. She had a bright red streak sculpting her face along with a thousand black curls jutting out in every direction. She had a tiny little red dress on that matched her streak and black leggings. She had black ankle boots and tons of silver jewelry. She was really pretty with her pointy chin and high cheek bones. Her deep milk chocolate eyes sparkled in the light under long luscious eyelashes that I felt a deep green envy of them. Her skinny lips were parted and forming a smile with her black comb in hand, (which in fact had 'Draka' written in beautiful silver scribe on the back), she grinned at me.

"so you're the famous Bella." she came over kissing both of my cheeks. "I've heard so much about you." she gushed.

I raised an imperfect eye brow to that, "oh?"

"of _course! _the Cullen's talk about you _constantly! _especially Alice, and Edward." she looked at my ring and her eyes wrinkled in enjoyment. "oh my good_ness! _is this the ring?! You are so lucky to have him, honey, you are _all _that boy talks about." her constant gushing was making me feel excited, like I'd known her forever.

"yeah he's pretty special too." her eyes went wild, still completely gorgeous, but still utterly cannibal.

She draped a cape over me, like her comb it had her first name scripted in silver across my chest. "he is head over heals, completely obsessed. You are so lucky. In my day I wish I could have had myself a 'lil chocolate like him…mmm, mmm!" she probably could of, he was around back then. I wondered how old she was anyway, she looked at least early twenties. She started foiling my hair with multicolored goop, I don't even want to know what those colors were.

I huffed as she pulled me to the chair with the hair dryer on it, she instructed me to sit and let my color seep in and become gorgeous for my oh-so-gorgeous fiancée. I smiled to those words, she was totally right. I liked her a lot.

" Draka?"

"yeah, 'hun?" she whispered to me as she sat next to me filing her nails.

"do you have any strawberry shampoo like this?" I asked her showing me my almost empty shampoo bottle, I wanted to have some for the honey moon.

"of _course!_ its even better! Its extra volume and helps make your hair healthy! It smells exactly the same. Or so says Edward." I looked at her overly excited face and felt shocked at her last four words. _dang! what is she talking about?! _"almost a year or so ago your 'lil man came in here and asked me to show him all my strawberry shampoo and he purchased _many _boxes of that one bottle right there." she pointed to the pink bottle of the expensive shampoo that she had shown me before.

I gasped, oh my good_ness_! He had bought all that when he left me, so he could smell me? Was he showering with it. I laughed really hard, I had really thought he hadn't loved me but it seems as though he was equally miserable. I smiled and settled down in my seat.

She grabbed my arm pulling me up, I groaned, this woman may be super cool but she is getting on my _very last_ nerve. She undid the foil and shampooed my hair with her strawberry shampoo. I thought it smelled the same just stronger. Then she advised me to close my eyes as she chopped.

Once she was done scorching my scalp with her blow dryer she told me to open my eyes. Oh my good_ness_ that couldn't have been me. My hair was long and straight chocolate with tiny red streaks with a tent of light brown and golden blonde I had straight across bangs that brushed my newly, (and painfully), waxed eye brows. I looked fabulous.

"y'all know you can part your hair to the side to if ya want, it'll look choppy and completely adorable. That's how I ware mine. Make sure to give Eddie lots of kisses from me." she smiled laughing I knew she was joking, or at least I prayed she was.

"sure." she hugged me tightly, I hugged her back. She was another thing I was going to miss a lot. I couldn't get my hair cut here ever again. Then I had a strange sensation. "call Alice, please. I want you to come to my wedding. I want you to fix my hair at my wedding."

She gasped and started jumping up and down, "oh I would _luvv _to!" I smiled brightly. My phone beeped, or Edwards phone, it was Angela.

_Where r ya grl? The partys srtn and ur mssn it! Meet u at the hotel in 15 min. by! _

I groaned, "got to go. I assume Alice is going to force this all upon her tab"

She nodded, of course. I didn't bother arguing, I didn't have enough time. I grabbed five bottles of that shampoo and told her to call Alice. She waved excitedly back to me.


	18. As Happy As A Gay Man In A Strip Bar

**i got 2 reviews thank you Fall Out Gal and ILYMITCHY its about time i take this story off the breathing tube thingy and let it go on its own..it will die without reviews. and if i at least dont get 2 more reviews (mean or nice) i WILL NOT post the next chapter. my story will be dead PLEASE DONT LET MY BABY DIEE!!**

**disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers was born before me...so sadly she beat me to Twilight (sob) i own nothing but the amazing Draka, Larkin, and terrifying Christina **

**read to understand**

**luvvvzzz!! kk**

Chapter 16

As happy as a gay man in a strip bar

I stepped into the hotel, and was ambushed. I was jumped on by ravaging things that I couldn't recognize. They clawed me and I cried out, I wanted them to stop I needed them to stop. Then I recognized what they were.

"guys! Cut. It. Out." I sobbed laughing wildly. My three friends were stripping me and throwing party clothes on me. A tiny dress and ballet flats. Clunky jewelry, and huge hoop earrings.

My three friends forced me into the cab, blindfolding me. _god! _I'm really getting tired of all this not seeing crap. I knew where we were before they allowed me to see. I smelled the sent of beer and women whistling. Oh my goodness. They did _not _take me to a strip bar. How lame. If I throw up I can get out of this easy.

They undid my blindfold, "TA DA!" they screamed. Oh they did, how wonderful. "enjoy." they pressed.

This is utterly gay, what kind of man would slide down a pole naked? _GAY!! _oh well. I maneuvered myself to a seat by myself against the wall facing away, I reached in my purse for my ipod. Finding nothing. They snatched my ipod, pure torture. "hey." I looked up, the most adorable boy was standing in front of me. He had light skin and was tall and lanky despite a tent of muscles framing him. He had curly black hair and cute dimples in his cheeks he had a really cute smile and big blue eyes. "I'm Larkin."

He was smiling shyly at me, oh my gosh he was gay. I cant believe I hadn't noticed it before. I shook my head giggling, "I'm Bella." he shook my hand smiling.

"are you okay? You are alone and you look sad so I thought I'd come over here and see what happened." I smiled, what a sweetheart. Maybe he'd want to come to my wedding, I shook my head, I had to cut it out. I didn't want all these random people I'm just meeting showing up. "who is he?" "oh no!" I shook my head no, my hands flailing everywhere. "I'm getting married tomorrow and my best friends dragged me here against my will!"

His smile widened, "tell me about him." suddenly I started jabbering like I had know Larkin for my whole life.

"well his name is Edward Cullen, he is strong kind of pale he has bronze hair and topaz eyes. He is really strong and a great runner. He is um…18 like me. He does the most romantic things for me and I love him to death. I fall a lot and since I've met him I don't think I've fallen on my face once. He always catches me."

Larkin's eyes were sparkling, "he sounds wonderful, and _gorgeous_! You are so lucky! And frankly so is he! If I weren't completely gay then I would be definitely hitting on you right now." I laughed, shaking.

"can we go outside and talk for awhile?" he nodded grabbing my hand, in a very girly way, and dragged me out of the bar. I saw Angela eyeing me and I took out my cell phone, _he's gay. _was what I texted her. _oh! Okay have fun! _she texted back. I would have fun I liked him a lot. Like a girl friend that's fun to look at. Hehe.

We made it out into the darkness, the cool air feeling good on my face. "ah the fresh airs nice, I have to admit that I cant stand beer breath. No boyfriend of mine will, or has, ever been a drinker." I giggle-agreed with him.

"not that I've had much of a real relationship before Edward, or any relationship at all." I muttered, he looked at me shocked.

"but you're so much fun." he booty bumped me, I giggled booty bumping him back. Oh great another thing I be leaving behind, but it was all worth it. I just felt so heartless.

"yeah, well. You are not looking for a fun girl so I don't think you have any say what so ever. Before Edward no man has shown me _any _interest." I said matter-of-factly.

"really?" for a gay guy he really seams to care about my relationship well-being.

I nodded, "well _dang _you must of hung out with some really dumb guys. Or gay." he poked me, laughing.

"not gay, I'm sure." I laughed, "plus they're all in Phoenix." he pouted a bit, and I giggled wildly. We wondered into an ally and we were cracking up by then.

I heard a shrill laugh and saw a pale girl come out of the shadows. She was definitely a vampire, her eyes glowed red and she was whispering "food." I gasped, I didn't know how to protect Larkin, I didn't want him to get hurt. I put up my hands ready to fight her, knowing there was no way I was going to win against her granite skin. She had long wavy brunette hair she had skinny lips and her complexion was perfect. She was wearing tarred jeans and a baggy UCLA hoddie. Her hair was matted and her lips pulled back away from her venom coded teeth.

"Christina I told you not to come into town." Larkin whispered shrilly. "my sister." he explained.

"your sister is a vampire?" I blurted.

"you know about vampires?" he asked curtly.

I nodded, "Edward is one."

He gasped, "how does he stand to be around you? Without feeding. Chrissy is having a horrible feeding problem. She says if it wasn't for my gayness I would be dead by now. Gay blood doesn't appeal to her apparently." he scowled.

She laughed dryly. "he is a vegetarian. He only feeds off of animals. Love is deeper than blood." I added the last sentence warily, wondering why he had brought me here. Did he want me to get eaten by his sister? I hoped not, I really needed to live to make it to my wedding.

"really, that works?" he asked hopefully.

"stupid boy! Of course it doesn't! she just doesn't want to be killed! But she smells divine!" she lunged for me, Larkin getting in front of me her fangs sank deep into his chest. I gasped. He cried and Christina ran away.

I healed him close to me, I was sobbing and he was screaming. I didn't know what to do for him, he just screamed _"fire! Bella it-it BURNS!" _I sobbed harder whispering words of reassurance. Three or four hours later Christina returned.

"you must leave," her eyes were topaz and I gasped, _vegetarian. _"this will always be the worst day of my life, Isabella I apologize. I will help my brother and thank you for introducing me to this new life style. Maybe we will see you again someday." she nodded to me.

We both noticed at that moment that my nails were digging into his flesh as he was sleeping in my arms. Tears were streaming down his cute baby face. That look brought on fresh sobs. I pulled him closer refusing to let go of him. "he sure grows on you huh?" I nodded.

"I barely know him but I feel like I'm loosing my best friend." I chocked is this how its going to feel for Jake? I pushed the thoughts from my mind. I took out a pen from my purse and scribbled something down on a sheet of paper. "have him read this." I let her take him from me the note read:

_Larkin,_

_I only knew you for tonight, but I think we really clicked. I will be a vampire soon, I want to meet you. I want you to know I'm always here. And I want you to become a veggie vampire only feed off of animals. Please do this for me L I will appreciate it greatly. One of Edwards sisters has visions I will show her your picture and she will be watching for you. I love you like that utterly adorable gay brother I always wish I had. Okay I hadn't wished that until I met you! _

_Xoxo -Bella-_

I scribbled down the cell phone number and handed it to her. I kissed the top of his head and maneuvered back into the strip bar. Surprisingly that sounded great right now, compared to another amazing person practically dying trying to save, stupid old boring-not-worth-saving me.

--

**o so sad. i think ima cry. i was so utterly bored writing this chptr i had to have sum DRAMA in it duhhrr**

**CANT BREATH NEED-NEED-NEEEDDDDD**

**REVEIWWWWZZZ!!**

**sincerily your frnd,**

**BLACK MIST**


	19. PLLZZZ authors note must read

**Hello Wonderful FANS,**

**okay people this isnt the way i was planning on doing it but i am almost done with the next chapter in BLACK MIST and no one has reviewed! (gasps) i know its completley shocking. its the thing you have all been waiting for the natorious WEDDING!! woo!! come on EDWARD IN A TUXXXXX how can you say no to that? i know I CANT! plzzz im begging, reviews? no wait REVIEWWWSSS!! i'm not xpecting every single person to review every chapter but plz it would mean so much if i saw that people liked it, i rely work hard and this is my first fanfic and i get sad (sobs) when i think people dont like it. thats wat i think when i dont get reviews so heres a small section to (hopeing) make you want to review so i'll put up the next chapter thnx a BUNNCCHH!**

**KK**

"Bella, nothing can compare the love I have for you and I couldn't and will not ask for more then you have given me. I'm so happy you love me, more than you will ever know. I promise forever so you're getting forever whether you like it or not." he pressed agianst me will everything he had.

I got into the shower the hot water flowing over my cold body, then it all rushed back to me. Vampires. Him lying there in my arms, barely breathing. I gasped the water burned my skin and I felt chills turning the water hotter. She was jumping for me, he protected me. Everything is always about _me_. Fresh icy tears went down my numb skin, I turned up the heat again.

He was such a nice kid, now he is a vampire. He didn't have the choice. I didn't do anything to help him, I just cried. Just like my dream. I never do anything, I just bawl. that's me old crying Bella, old helpless Bella. Then suddenly the heat took me, I staggered the water was scalding burning me skin a cherry red. I had used up all the water in the hot water heater within minutes it seemed. The icy water felt good. I stepped under it letting it force the red away down to a nice pinkish raw color. From now on nothing will ever be the same.


	20. Raindrops are to tears

**ok guys thnx for the reviews u r the bestt!! i'm still not getting all the reviews i would like but, i'm glad i'm getting any!! yay to that?! well i promised the wedding in this chapter but it didnt end up being in there so i'm putting up 2 chapters at once savvy? okie dokie sounds like a plan!**

**Reviews?**

**plz?**

**Edward will kiss you if you do!!**

**okay maybe he wont but a girl can dream!! lololol**

**xoxo**

**kk**

Chapter 17

Raindrops are to tears as sunshine is to happiness

My eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. I couldn't remember going to bed last night. I didn't want to get up, my body felt stiff but strangely enough, I felt relaxed. I mumbled at who ever was screeching at me. I wasn't giving in, I felt like I could sleep the rest of my life away, and I was planning on it.

"Bella! Its your wedding day! Edward is waiting at the church!" I sat up to that, not the least bit groggy or the usual drunk feeling that comes with waking up. I get to see Edward today, and marry him. I giggled to myself in my brain. "we're going to go to IHOP then you get to be blindfolded as we drive to the hotel right by where you are getting married you are going to get ready then you are going to get married." Alice was vibrating by now, if I didn't know any better I would have thought she was on something.

"okay give me some time to shower and brush my teeth I'll be down in a second." I stretched wondering where everybody had gone, I shook it off. I don't care where everyone else goes I'm going to be a Cullen today with or without Jess, Ang, and Lauren. I turned on the hot water staring at my tear stained cheeks, I wish I could remember what happened last night. It was all a blur, like a dream but less real.

I got into the shower the hot water flowing over my cold body, then it all rushed back to me. Larkin, Christina. Vampires. Larkin lying there in my arms, barely breathing. I gasped the water burned my skin and I felt chills turning the water hotter. She was jumping for me, he protected me. Everything is always about me. Fresh icy tears went down my numb skin, I turned up the heat again.

He was such a nice kid, now he is a vampire. He didn't have the choice. I didn't do anything to help him, I just cried. Just like my dream. I never do anything, I just bawl. that's me old crying Bella, old helpless Bella. Then suddenly the heat took me, I staggered the water was scalding burning me skin a cherry red. I had used up all the water in the hot water heater within minutes it seemed. The icy water felt good. I stepped under it letting it force the red away down to a nice pinkish raw color. From now on nothing will ever be the same.

I scrubbed my skin clean of everything that was going wrong in my life, this was the day. I am going to be with Edward for eternity. Everlasting that's how my love is for him. Its all I want, he is all I want.

I stepped out of the shower in a daze, I slipped on some sweats and pinned my hair up in a pony tail. Draka was going to fix it any way, why bother? I slipped on some flip flops, utterly dangerous for me by the way. I slipped on a jacket and raced down the stairs as fast as I could, without falling that is. "Ready?" Alice had been talking on the phone and she hung up when she saw me I nodded, my stomach growled I couldn't wait for chocolate chip pancakes at IHOP.

We entered the IHOP, and Alice dazzled us a seat quickly instead of the hour long wait. I settled down and the cute waiter came over to take 'our' aka my order. He reminded me of Larkin but older, more mature. "hello, _ladies_, what will you have today?"

"chocolate pancakes and one of those totally adorable Horton Hears A Who drinks." I smiled up at him, Alice raised a perfect eye brow when he laughed. Reckless flirting, WHITE FLAG! (inside joke you wouldn't get it.. But if you review I'll tell you!) "that'll be all thank you."

I attacked the sweet chocolate chips in the pancakes and slurped up my whole drink. "I cant believe you actually eat that stuff." Alice made a disgusted face.

"says the blood drinker. Salt and rust. How appealing." "wait 'til you try it, its divine." she smiled sweetly motioning for me to eat.

"so is this!"

"Eat Bella, we have to leave in three minutes. Edward will be upset with me if I don't allow you to finish your breakfast." she motioned me to it again, "Eat." I obediently took a bite making a face at her. I slowly pressed my lips together chewing. I was trying to drive her crazy, apparently I can give vampires heart attacks I wanted to see if I could make them throw up too.

"two minutes Bella, two." she glared into my eyes, her eyes were hard but she was giggling. "one minute Bella. You better eat." she turned away standing and going to pay.

I stuck two huge bites of pancake into my mouth. I took a long drink, and stood up. I met Alice at her Porsche, I pulled the door open and grabbed my silky blindfold letting Alice tie it onto me. I settled down into the seat, I'm getting used to the blindness of the blindfold. In a matter of minutes I was moving, I heard buttons being pushed and an elevator beeping. "come on Bella, don't trip."

When she untied my blindfold I was in a gorgeous honeymoon suit. Red and gold was everywhere. It looked like the queens quarters. I sat down on the heart shaped couch, touching the soft velvet. I gawked at the door that had a gold gemmed heart on it, that said Eternity on it. I touched the door knob when Alice stopped me.

"no, Draka's here and she is ready to do you're hair." Alice smiled, why didn't she want me to go in there? Hmmm, curious.

"Oh-Kay." I walked over to Draka and let her do her thing, I sat down and she started jabbering.

"oh honey you are gunna look ah-dorible! For your 'lil Eddie boy. He _is _the cutest don't you think." I tried to nod, "no sweet 'thang y'all cannot be noddin your 'lil head unless you wanna get _burned_." her southern accent was cute with her non-southern fashion since.

"alright baby doll you can take a look see."

"does that mean I'm done?" she nodded spinning my around to where I was facing the mirror I gasped.

My chocolate hair was curled in tiny ringlet curls. Parts of my hair were pinned up in a messy bun. I had red and white rose pedals strewn through my hair. Tiny curls framed my face and my bangs were pulled up in a poof. "oh Draka I _love _it! Thank you so much! Its perfect!" I hugged her petite form.

"time for me to do your make up, sis!" Alice chimed in I sat back down and let Alice do her thing. I puckered my lips when I was suppose to, and I blinked when I was suppose to. I smiled when I was suppose to, I smiled even when I wasn't suppose to. I was just beyond happy. "okie dokie you are _done!" _Alice whistled.

I looked at myself, Alice had insisted on water proof make up because of the definite crying I was going to be doing. Tears of joy. My cheeks were a light pink, Alice told me blush was barley necessary because of the fact that I blush _a lot. _I had deep red lips that matched the roses in my hair. I smiled, "thank you Alice." I tried to hold back the tears but one managed to seep out.

"your welcome Bella. I told you water proof was a necessity." I smiled at her and nodded.

"BELLA! Oh my good_ness _you look completely beautiful!" Angela, Lauren and Jessica had just walked into the master bath room of the hotel suit.

"time to get on the wedding dress!" Alice exclaimed. "we only have thirty minutes until the wedding starts."

I was getting a little nervous, butterflies were flying in through my belly button and flying around inside of me. I slipped on the dress, with the help of four beautiful girls in bridesmaids dresses. Their hair was gorgeous too, not like mine but still. It was great. Everything was ready, everything was perfect. Then suddenly I felt sobs coming on, my mother wasn't here, she wasn't going to be here. I couldn't breathe. "its okay honey everything will be okay. I had a vision of Renée hugging you and saying, congratulations and you were wearing white. So I don't know what is going to happen but everything is going to be perfect." Alice reassured me. I smiled and hugged her.

"thanks sis, you are the best." she hugged me back, and slipped a red silky blind fold over my eyes. I hate surprises.

**ooo cliffie!! sorries i couldnt helpp itt!! ur gunna luvv the wedding its my dream wedding (minus topaz bridesmaids) but ya kno wat if Edward waz there i could b gettn married in a gay bars dumpster for all i care!! tehehe**

**truely yours,**

**KK**

**NNEEEDDDD REEEVIIIIIIIWWWWSSS**

**AHHH!! cannnntttt-- BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHH**

**reviews plz savvy?**

**i luvv tht word tehhee!!**


	21. Love is the stitches that holds us 2gthr

**well here ya go wat evry1s been waiting for...GASSSPPP!! lol tehe! i loved writing this chptr so much. i was itchin the whole time. Alice is a geinus lolol**

**KK**

**p.s. REVIEWS? u will want to trust me. i wont put up the next chapter w.o reviews..jacob lovers will want to read the next one trust is wat keeps us 2gether and REVIEWS is wat keeps MEEE together**

**tehe**

**mwahahhahaha**

Chapter 18

Love is the stitches that holds us together 

"Oh honey you look amazing! Alice why is she wearing a blindfold?" I heard Charlie's voice, oh we're here. Great.

"I wanted this to be a surprise Charlie, you can remove that now let us get to our places then listen to the music that will be your cue to walk." I could tell that Alice was trying to be calm but it wasn't working for her.

"bye Alice. See you in there." a few minutes later Charlie undid my blindfold.

"Bella, are you sure this is what you want to do?"

I nodded, "yes dad I love you. Thank you for supporting me." he hugged me tight, a tear fell from his eye. This was hard for him, I know it was.

"I love you two." dum, dum, dum, dummm. I heard the piano start. "well that's our cue to go. Good luck baby." I nodded, "oh yeah and honey."

"yeah Dad?" I looked at him, he smiled down at me showing his laugh lines.

"right foot before left. Just think right, left, right, left. I wont let you fall." he smiled at me warmly. I nodded and we locked arms and our fingers intertwined as the tarp opened and I saw the most beautiful thing ever.

It was on a beach, the ocean was gorgeous and a huge waterfall jutted out of side. The white sand was covered with red and white rose pedals. No one was wearing shoes. Edward was standing on a small platform of white silk with red rose pedals on it. The sun had just set I imagine. The huge moon was moving up into the sky, torches were lit letting everything glow. Edward was wearing a white tux. Emmett and Jasper were wearing red tuxes. They were smiling. I glanced at Edward, _I love you. _he mouthed to me. _I love you, too. _I mouthed back.

Charlie and I started walking down the aisle of white roses, it was really beautiful. _right, left, right, left, right…_

Everyone was smiling at me, but my heart sank when I saw Phil sitting in the front row, alone. I turned and kissed Charlie on the cheek he whispered, "I love you Bells, never forget that." Edwards hands met mine as he helped me up onto the platform. I was almost eye level with him now. He smiled and we looked to the preacher.

I didn't catch a word he was saying but frankly I didn't even care. I know I should, but I didn't. "now Edward would like to pledge his love for Ms. Swan." the preacher motioned to Edward.

"Bella, I was nothing before you. I didn't laugh or joke or do anything. I was nothing. And forever is _such _an understatement of how I feel for you." he paused, tensing up. "uh, eternity, doesn't even cover it. Though it touches it slightly." he touched my face, fear in his eyes. What was going on? I started hyperventilating a little bit. "Er…Everlasting, that's how my love will be for you Isabella Marie Swan." then I felt something, a whoosh of air. It reeked of dog. I stopped breathing. Edwards hands gripped on mine. "NOO!!" Then it bounded down the aisle sinking its teeth deep into my stomach. It took off running with me. I screamed, and cried. Everyone was up running screaming.

Edward POV

I jumped for her, everything had happened so fast. _say goodbye little bloodsucker. Forbidden love is such an understatement. You know how Romeo and Juliet ended up…_ Sam's thoughts were cruel.

The other werewolves jumped at me. I swatted them away, their teeth sunk into me. One of them that I didn't recognize swatted its huge paw at my face scratching it right across my cheek. I was leaking venom out of it. I tried to ignore the pain. I jumped trying to force them off. I grabbed its snout in my hands breaking it.

Alice, Rosalie, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett, and Jasper were fighting along side me. I had to get to her. I picked up the big wolf throwing it to the side, then another wolf bounded towards me. I knew this one, it was Quil I believe. He growled. My lips pulled back over my teeth. I growled. _we all liked Bella, she is going to die because of you. Sam wants you to watch her die. I want to kill you now to save her maybe, it will be easier for her if you are not there. Plus I WANT to kill you. _he pounced at me, and I furiously grabbed his face in my hands squashing it.

"and I want to kill you right now. There is no way she is dying." I threw him down breaking his spine, leaving him wailing for dear life. More werewolves jumped on me, tearing me like tissue paper.

_Edward! You have to get away! Save her!_

_Go son, get her! We can handle this. _

_Dude get Bella, leave the fun for us!_

the thoughts of my family were rushing through my head, the werewolves attacked me with full force…then I heard strange thoughts the thoughts that left my heart burning. _Edward, it is Jacob Black if you are out there listening. I know where they have taken Bella. She will be safe with me. If you get her they will kill all of you, don't underestimate Sam. The wolves pack is doubled in size. I am not a part of it any more. I will find you, when Sam is dead. When I am officially leader of the pack. I wont let them hurt her._

I choked. No. I wasn't going to let this happen. I fell down dry sobbing, I have never felt so useless. The wolves departed then, leaving us breathing hard. Emmett cursed, "Why didn't you go?!" "Jacob Black," I barked "will take care of her. I don't know where they are. He wont tell me. He said it is safer for her if we don't look for her. I believe him. I have to." Carlisle nodded in my direction.

"WHAT?!" all of my brothers and sisters and Esme wailed.

"what else do you purpose we do?" Carlisle questioned, no one answered.

_We kill those dogs and get Bella back. _Emmett muttered in his mind. _Edward what are you thinking? She could die. You think you are a monster, you didn't feel what he was feeling when he stole her away. _Jasper thought warily.

Alice was dry sobbing onto Jasper, _We love her just as much as you do Edward. I feel just as useless as you do. I can't watch out for her, I cant SEE her anymore. I don't know if she is okay or not. How could I have let this happen?! I was planning the wedding, I don't even know how they found out where it was._

I gasped at her thoughts, I fell down to the ground and started shaking and sobbing. It was my fault, this happened because of me. I sent Jacob Black an invitation to our wedding and Sam stole it. He called Alice asking where it was being held. He came and took Bella. He is going to kill her, because of me and I cant do anything about it.

"Edward oh my-" Rosalie was cut off by Carlisle. _Edward, you are- _then I felt it, it was warm and wet and it was running down my cheek. It didn't smell like it usually does. It stunk, rust and salt…as Bella had once explained it. I was crying, I was crying blood.

"Jasper what is he feeling?"

"sadness, he feels responsible. It feels like he is dying, Carlisle. He is dying along with Bella." dying, Bella is dying. I am dying. We are dying. The world stops spinning. Life will end for all. We tried to beat the odds. When fate bet against us, we hit it full force. And now she is dying because of me, now I am dying because of me. I closed my eyes that were bloodstained by now, and remembered.

"_Edward Cullen is staring at you…" "hasn't anyone told you that life isn't fair?" "and then you didn't answer my first question…" "so what you're saying is that I'm your brand of heroine?" "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" "What a stupid lamb…" "What a sick, masochistic lion…"_

Then it all went black, and I think for the first time in almost one hundred years I fell into a deep black unpleasantly awful icy dreamless sleep.

**gasp. i'm evil. so so sorry. **

**cliffie i kno and gasp Eddie boo sleeping. i kno right! so devilish gasp. lol**

**REVIEWS?**


	22. Words gone unsaid are the ones that mean

**thnk you sooo much for ur reviews i got 6 reviewzz!! i aprechiate it deeply. i kno this chptr is kinda short but if i get reviews ill put up the next...savvy? **

**luvvzz!!**

**kk**

**unless u want Edward and Bella to die thn u need to review...and if u do want to die (which i hope u dont) then review and tell me!!**

**DISCLAIMER: sadly i do not own any of the twilight characters.. trust me if i did Edward would be with me and not Bella. Emmett would b there to make me laf and give me bare hugs. Alice would b my personal shopper...and we would live on a deserted island where Eddie would willingly sparkle for me...mhuahahah : luvzz i OWWNN! (jus not twilight...sob) ! lol hehe heh **

**yours truly,**

**KK**

Chapter 19

Words gone unsaid are the ones that mean the most

I knew I was dying. Sam had flung me down, growling at me surely telling me not to move. Like I could if I wanted to, and I _really _wanted to. My life was flashing before my eyes, well from when my life started any way. When I met Edward, the only memories that mattered. I closed my eyes I remembered the first time I saw him, how mad he looked. So beautiful, but also _so _deadly terrifying. His black eyes. Blood trickled out of the side of my mouth. I sobbed. I was glad he wasn't there to see me right now, dying. _lord Edward I'm begging, don't go and kill yourself. No matter what happens; I will see you again someday. _I knew he couldn't hear me but I told myself it was worth the try. Everything is worth a try.

It hurt to breath, one of Sam's huge teeth had jabbed into my lung. I coughed a little, coughing up blood. That made me throw up, rust and salt. I sobbed holding my stomach. I sobbed, _help! _I begged silently. Tears were flowing. I was laying in blood now.

"_I don't know," he murmured. "The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM." He grinned at me, suddenly amused._

"_My mind doesn't work right? I'm a freak" ._

"_I hear voices in my mind and you're worried that you're the freak…" _

I wanted to laugh at the memory but when I opened my mouth blood just seeped out. I closed my eyelids, the were getting heavy. I knew I wouldn't last much longer. Then I heard it, heavy footsteps they were outside the door. I leaned down and slipped off my heels. Grabbing them in my hands, I had a plan. My breathing was still slowing and I knew I wouldn't last long.

The heavy breathing came close, he smelled of pine and dirt. Hatred filled my heart. I wanted to kill him. I want to make him feel what I am feeling right now. I want him to hurt like I am, I want him to hurt like Edward surely is right now. He touched me, and my eye lids flew open I stuck the long heel up his nose gabbing up his nose making blood flow like water out of a geyser. "oh my god Jake.." he put his finger on my mouth, then he yanked my heel out of his nose.

"its okay Bells, you have to be quiet. If you want to live, and if you want Edward to live we have to sneak out like _now-ish_." I nodded, and he lifted me up bringing me close to him. In a matter of minutes we were running. I don't know how we made it past the wolves, but somehow we had. We were running, "are you okay Bells. I'm so, so sorry."

I opened my mouth but a fresh sob had came out. He hadn't wanted to kill me. He was saving me. I was coughing blood again. "oh my god we have to stop the bleeding and clean the wounds." he was sobbing now.

I wanted to comfort him but I was dying, and I couldn't speak at all. every time my mouth opened I either sobbed or blood came out. Like he said I couldn't loose any more blood. Before I knew it we were at a small house. He opened the door and immediately started taking my dress off, "what are you-" I chocked.

"we have to clean your wounds and stop the bleeding. I'm going to wash them out then I'm going to stitch them up the best I can." all I could do was nod. My consciousness was slipping, quickly. Once I was out of my clothes I was in the bathtub, he washed my wounds then sewed the holes up. I was breathing heavily, and I felt like I had betrayed Edward in a way. Jacob Black had just seen me naked.

I laid on the bed all wrapped up, I was wearing one of his shirts and his boxers. I was too restless to sleep. He had given me strong pain medication but it wasn't helping at all. "how are you feeling?" he crawled into bed with me under the covers, despite the fact he was blazing hot I was shivering. "love you Bells." he whispered. I cried. I wanted to say something, I didn't know what to say. Even if I could talk.

I had stopped puking blood, Jacob said that, that was good. I thought it was good too. The taste was still stuck on my tongue. I felt sick. My ribs ached, everything ached.

"its going to be okay, I wont let them hurt you." my eyelids fluttered open, I looked at Jacob I kissed his chin. I watched his eyes light up. I snuggled up to his big chest.

Then I felt a strange urge, I had to tell him. "Jake?" I whispered.

"yeah Bells?"

"after we went swimming last time, I heard Billy and Sam talking about how they wanted to kill all of the Cullen's and me." I paused before the last word. He gaped at me.

"B-Billy wants you dead? But why? He likes you."

"That's what I thought too," I closed my eyes. I knew I couldn't sleep but I at least wanted to try. I could feel wetness touch me, as his cheek did. He was crying. I don't blame him. I would cry too. I took in his sent, the sent of pine and dirt, then sleep took me over.

Jacob POV

She was in my arms, in my clothes. She was my everything. She was here, Sam almost killed her. Fresh tears came, I couldn't hold them back any more. She was finally with me, finally in my arms. I couldn't believe her scent. I remember the first time I talked to her, when she came to La Push. She was flirting with me, I know now it was because of Edward. But it was the first time when I realized that I wanted to be hers. That I wanted her to be mine.

I remember when we went to see the movie with Mike Newton, that was our last night of reality. Before things got complicated. Everything would have been easier if I wasn't a werewolf. If I wasn't what I am, and if he wasn't what he is. Then things may have turned out different. If I wasn't so racist against him than maybe she wouldn't be here right now.

As much as I'm loving her being here right now, I wish she wasn't. I wish she wasn't in pain, even if that means she kissed my chin and is sleeping beside me right now…


	23. Authors beggs assential must read

**Can I ask you all a question? Why is it that I have 20 hits on my last chapter and NO new reviews? Do you want the next chapter or not?! Goodness. **

**Well okay so here is the deal I'm going to spare you the tragic details…the end is near. I can taste it. The next chapter is the last but I am planning a sequel. **

**I didn't want it to happen that way but because of a few things that had to happen with a Mr. Jacob Black…I thought it would be the perfect place to end. **

**Okay well here is a section from the next chapter to get reviews…**

As much as I agreed with her I hated to hear her think it. _You stupid hoe what are you doing here? You should be off baking cookies, or cleaning my house. _I gaped at him, I could have jumped him right there. How dare him talk to her that way. I hadn't wanted anyone to know, that is partly why I am not a part of the pack any more, because we imprinted. It was so intense. Of course I was still in blazing deep passionate love with Bella. Imprinting was so deeper than that, she was my world. 

"Jake I love you, kick his sorry ass for me." I was human again lying next to her, I kissed her.

"after this lets get married okay?" she nodded, I through a jacket over her. Nothing was ever going to be the same…


	24. Forever and always, with you I will be

**i wasnt planning for it to be this way but we have reached the end: dont cry my dears i'm writing a second. (im up for cool titles for black mist 2) **

**okay answers to my wonderful reviewers**

**inside joke "reklass flirting WHITE FLAG" my frnd and her crush were walkin w. me and he was majoirly flirting...badly i might add. and i said REKLASS FLIRTING WHITE FLAG then he agian flirted horribly and i said REKLASS FLIRTING RED FLAG IF U GET A GREEN THEN UR GOING TO SUCKY FLIRTRS JAIL..and so he got a purple flag thats 2 past green tehe. **

**okay and also...dont worry when this is all over and i start the next fanfic u will kno wat will happen so yaahh!!**

** special thnx 2 Mindori Takahashi for the idea of Leah Clearwaters doing. i made her imprint but it was ur idea to add her! thnk u darling!!**

**oh and special thnx to ILYMICHY ur amazing u have been here the whole time**

**DISCLAIMER: if you're the queen of england then i own twilight...pllzzz b the queen of england!!**

**(keep in mind my ppl on my profile i said i'm not a Jacob fan..i still like him but he isnt my man. keep that in mind.) okie dokie happy reading!!**

**KK**

**reviews?**

Chapter 20

Forever and always, with you I will be 

_Forever and always, with you I will be hidden in darkness farther than you will ever see, lurking beneath the shadows past the vision of those who lurk at night. Forever I'll be here, just close your eyes and pucker your lips and I will kiss thy with all the love I can give. You will never be alone, my precious, I will love thy with everything I have for eternity. _

I awoke to the sent of warm oatmeal. "Jake I don't think I can eat anything really." he pushed it forward, well there's something Edward and him have in common. I stopped breathing, I cant help but wonder what Edward is doing right now. What he is thinking right now.

"I don't care, eat." he ordered. I obediently took a bite, it tasted great. I ate the whole bowl within minutes, I hadn't realized how hungry I was. "we have a big day ahead of us, today we fight." I tensed up. I leaned over the side of the bed and threw up the whole bowl of oatmeal. Jacob held my hair back. When I was done I was crying.

"I'm sorry baby, I shouldn't have made you eat.."

"I don't want you to fight Jake. Not for me." I hugged his huge body, I knew if Edward never showed back up. If he never came back I would be with Jake. But I knew I couldn't be, I knew he wasn't what I really wanted. As much as I would like him to be, because every time I touch or hug him Edwards face pops into my mind. I still don't want him to get hurt, or fight non the less.

"I'm not fighting for you, I'm fighting for what is right. It just happens that you fit right into that." I turned to the side of the bed, vomiting again. He pulled me to him and kissed the top of my head. "it will all be okay, you will be with him forever. It will be so when I am leader."

"but you wont be happy." I looked up at him and a tear fell.

"we are not talking about me, Bella," he held my face in his huge hands. Tears were flowing, from mental and physical pain. He sighed, "Bella I love you. If you are happy than I am happy."

I shook my head and he pulled me closer in a kiss, there was no love in that kiss. There was only desperation and fear. He pulled away and I sobbed. "we will win, Isabella, no fear my darling everything will be okay." he picked me up and cradled me and he brought me outside into and underground cellar placing me on a stiff bed.

"promise me you wont get hurt." I laid there in his arms for a long time, before he spoke.

"I promise Bella with all my heart." he sighed. We laid there for what seemed like minutes but could have been hours, when he spoke again. "I have to go, be safe. don't worry about me. I will come and get you. It will be okay I promise." he kissed me long and hard once more leaving me alone with a small fridge of food and blankets and a pillow. I laid down and cried.

It was cold, dark, wet, and lonely. I had never felt so utterly and completely alone in my whole life.

I was sobbing, uncontrollably. I couldn't breath, but then again when have I ever been able to breath. It has been a long time since Jacob left me here, it was cold in here. I have been throwing up the last three hours or so, from terror and then pain that was stabbing my insides. I held my stomach. I think the stitches broke, because I feel wetness that is making me want to puke more.

I've waited for him, I'm starting to worry more than ever before. I've been hearing howling noises that could only have come from a dying wolf. I've been praying for that to be a certain wolf. Laying alone in the darkness really had me thinking about some things. Life is short, even if you _happen to be _eternal.

You have to do what you want while you still can.

I heard a wail, _no. _I started to cry. I hated to not know what was going on. Growls invaded the screaming.

Then it was all quiet. _"no!" _I was sobbing loudly now. Then I felt him, his frosty arms were around me. He was kissing my hair.

"it will be okay love, it is all over." I turned towards him. I hugged him, I didn't know what to say.

"where is he." it sounded more like a command than a question, it was more of a command than a question. Edward tensed at the words.

"Edward." I looked at him.

"come." he swung me up and took me out of the dark. The clouds were a heavy black color. The wind whistled. No one spoke a word. Edward led me to where the other wolves were. They let us pass. I gasped and started bawling.

"Jacob! Oh lord Jake NO!" I couldn't breath. He was laying there, naked most likely. He had been covered up by a weaved blanket. His insides were strewn every where. He had a huge gaping hole in his stomach. My knees started to wobble. I fell down beside him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered hoarsely.

"what the hell are you apologizing for JAKE?!" I shouted. What the heck! He smiled a little then winced.

"I-I didn't keep my promise to you. I got hurt." despite my tears and sorrow I giggled. Maybe he would be okay.

I ran my fingers through his long messy black hair, "yeah, I can see that."

"don't cry." He whispered. I tried to stop but it didn't work.

"oh Jake," he put his index finger on my lips to silence me. He was cold as Edward, cold as death.

"don't say your goodbyes now, my love. You will never die Bella, Edward promised me he will take care of you." I nodded as he caressed my cheek. What ever he wants. "you're everything I've ever wanted, I love you so much."

I leaned down and kissed him. He closed his eyes.

"I love you, too Jake." I laid down beside his big body laying my head on his now freezing chest. Carlisle walked over to help, I knew he would be okay. I prayed he would, Carlisle was an amazing doctor. He was going to be okay, we would be okay.

_Flashback _

(right when Jacob leaves Bella in the cellar.) 

Jacob POV

I hated to leave her alone in there, it was hard. But I will never regret this decision. They threatened her life, she is _my_ life. I wanted to kill them, more than I wanted to kill Edward. I know I'm going to loose it when I see them. I'm glad she wont have to watch this. Its going to get nasty, real fast. I know I'm only 16, practically 17. It doesn't matter, nothing does. I stepped out of the shadows and they were there.

Just as I imagined I started shaking, I hated him. I want him to feel my hatred. I exploded into werewolf form then.

_why Sam?! Why the hell are you doing this. _I growled.

_why are YOU protecting her? She's nothing Jake. Join us, or die. _I wanted to kill him, and he knew it. We were sharing our feelings. I didn't dare move an inch unless I wanted to die right then and there and I promised Bella I would go back to her.

_I'd rather die than join you. What would Emily think about this? She would be so disappointed Sam. _I tried to keep my thoughts calm. My hair was standing on end, all of it.

_That can be arranged…and she would agree. She does agree. I promise you that Jacob Black. She loves me enough to trust my decisions. _he bared his teeth at me.

_that's not love, that's slavery. _then he pounced on me, tearing at my skin. I bit at his face, blood rushing down it. No one dared move.

_don't move, this is my kill. _I heard Sam's thoughts as clearly as if they were my own. Before I could she was their, teeth bared as mine. Leah Clearwater. I couldn't have asked for anything better. I didn't want her here, but it felt good to have her beside me. I will protect her with all cost.

_I'm here Jake. Don't blink or I might take them all myself. _she growled between her teeth, it was low in her chest and everyone backed up a little bit. Leah may be a girl but she is a fierce fighter. _he deserves to die for everything that he has done. He doesn't deserve this life. _

As much as I agreed with her I hated to hear her think it. _You stupid hoe what are you doing here? You should be off baking cookies, or cleaning my house. _I gaped at him, I could have jumped him right there. How dare him talk to her that way. I hadn't wanted anyone to know, that is partly why Leah and I weren't a part of the pack any more, but we imprinted. Both of us, on each other. It was so intense. Of course I was still in blazing deep passionate love with Bella. But Leah was deeper than that, she was my world.

_Take that back Sam, you little…._ I thought the most nastiest names I could bare.

_I hope you're enjoying my sloppy seconds Jacob. Little Jacob, how was kindergarten today? Did you learn how to wipe your own ass? _Leah jumped on him.

She tore at him angrily, I managed to fight beside her. I wanted her to have nothing to do, but of course she wouldn't have that.

I knew she still had feelings for him, deep hatred. But under it all I saw the love in her eyes, and she saw the love in mine. _Back up Leah, you aren't going to die today. _I instructed, usually our mates will obediently do as told, but Leah was different she was stubborn and I loved her for that.

We pushed and ripped at Sam, the other wolves were voluntarily fighting along side Sam. I couldn't see why. Leah was tearing at him, while I was throwing my former brothers to the side. Then he hit her to the side she slammed into a tree then passed out. I ran to the tree, she had changed back into her human form and was lying there naked and in a large amount of tremendous pain. She managed to open an eye, "Jake I love you, kick his sorry ass for me." I was human again lying next to her, I kissed her.

"after this lets get married okay?" she nodded, I through a jacket over her.

Sam was human too, now. He cussed. "well its old black Adam and Eve how cute." he jumped up transforming back into wolf form. I blocked him changing in mid air with him. We fought for a long time after that.

I knew I was going to loose, he had the upper hand. I was alone.

Then I smelt it. The vampires were here. They attacked the other paralyzed werewolves. Then Edward, came face to face with Sam and I.

"I don't know how it happened but Alice had a vision, that you needed us." he growled and jumped on Sam. My bones were broken I could feel it but I fought on. Edward was biting Sam everywhere, as was I. the venom hurt worse though. It doesn't turn us, it kills us. Or at least kills where it can reach…it has some effect on the vampires too. I don't know what though, they probably get an extra power or something.

_that is what happened to Billy, Jake. A vampire bit his legs. He got it before it reached any where else. that's why he is paralyzed. _how dare him.

We fought harder, everything was going our way before I felt it. Sam had ripped a hole through me tearing out my insides. I fell to the ground, wailing in pain. I was loosing blood fast and I knew I wouldn't last. _Edward tell Bella I love her, and kill him. Kill him for me. Love Bella for me, hold her for me. Kiss her for me. Keep her safe, Edward. Do not let her die. You deserve her, no matter what happens. _I closed my eyes. I saw Edward lunge at Sam finishing him off. The rest of the pack was silent. I had changed back into my human form. I closed my eyes my entire feeling was gone in my body. There was no more pain.

I heard an angle crying my name, "Jacob! Oh lord Jake NO!" the angle was sobbing. I looked up at her. My Bella.

"I'm sorry,"

"what the hell are you apologizing for JAKE?!" she sobbed on me. I smiled and winced, dang that hurt.

"I-I didn't keep my promise to you. I got hurt." she giggled under her tears.

She ran her fingers through my hair, "yeah, I can see that."

"don't cry." I whispered. I didn't want the last thing I saw of her to be a sad face.

"oh Jake," I put my index finger on her warm soft lips.

"don't say your goodbyes now, my love. You will never die Bella, Edward promised me he will take care of you." I caressed her beautiful face. "you're everything I've ever wanted, I love you so much."

She kissed me and I closed my eyes. Everything seemed to be drifting, getting farther and farther away.

"I love you, too Jake." she sounded like the wind when she talked. Beautiful and graceful and barely there. She laid down beside me laying her head on my chest, she felt barely there light as a feather. I took a deep breath of her everything was fading too fast. Evaporating at the touch of me. My eyelids closed they weighed a thousand pounds. All I wanted to do was sleep.

Finally my body and I gave in, I closed my eyes and I let the black mist consume me completely.

**i might not like Jacob but i didnt plan on him dying. it was hard for me to write and i cried. but i have a plan for his return (in a way) i thought giving him a lil luvv b4 he was gone waz good. plz dont chew me out i didnt plan on him dying it jus happened. my imagination haz a mind ov its ownn!!**

**dont worry Bells and Eddiekenz r still a go never dought that for a sec. **

**if u want a sequel review and tell me im all 4 it xoxo**

**tell me watchya think**

**--a cliffhanger is a powerful weapon used by authors 2 get reviews-- mwahahah**

**!!**

**tears**

**KK**

**GASSPPP AIIRR GASSSP REVIEWZZZZZZZZZ!!**


	25. SEQUEL! review u kno u want 2

**I'm in the process of writing Black Mist2. I'm telling you all now though, that until I find the name for it I'm not going to post it. So please give me ideas. I almost have the Prologue for it. Please and thank you. I really need ideas. And anything you want for the next book please tell me. I need ideas. Not that I don't already have many ideas. But I'd love to hear what my fans want. FANS CHOICE. Please, I'm in need of a name. so if you love me and want a sequel think of good ideas for the name. and good ideas for the plot. Any cute ideas Bella and Edward or Emmett or Alice or anything can do. I don't care. I have a lot of drama planned so if you can think of humor or anything tell me. I'll consider anything. **

**Thank you,**

**KK**

**p.s. please review and tell me what you think. **


	26. SO SO SORRY! plz read

**So so so soooo sorry for the trouble I have the real chapter 12 up now it'll explain things.. I love that chapter. Sorry again**

**Read it and review**

**I hope you like it**

**KK**


	27. ITZ ALL BOUT BM2! read and reveiw thnx!

**Sempre e eternità forever and eternity**

**Eternità eternity**

**Leone e l'agnello lion and the lamb**

**For Black mist 2**

**I thought it would be cool to do the second in another language, I love, love, LOVE Italian. Its the language of love. I think Edward and Bella, should have something special. I like the first but I think you should review and tell me what you think. I'll try to quit with the authors notes**

**I'll be posting the first chap of BM2. I know you are all dying, so, so sorry. Its hard to recuperate after Jake dies. Well thanks much!**

**your loving author**

i'ma give you a part of the prolouge so you can be more...willing to give me ideas so i can put it up! savvy?! well here yah go!

DISCLAIMER: stephanie meyer owns twilight, so she is responsible for any tears that brings when Edward leaves...but i'm hear if you wanna c em hitched! yeeehhaaa!!

**BM2 prolouge**

The wind was cold, the sky wept for Jacob Black. I was done weeping for Jacob Black. Life will only go on if you will let it. Black hair was matted to her face and she was bawling. Her eyes were red and puffy. She had her right hand rested on her belly. Her long black dress draped down softly scraping the green grass underneath her feet. She was humming something, it was really pretty.Things had definitely changed, and not for the better. Edward had been extra careful with me lately. With what he says and with what he does.

Edward touched my face softly, I turned towards him not bothering with a smile. He didn't, so why should I? He touched my stomach, where my holes were. He had done that a lot. It bothered me at first, but now I'm used to it. I haven't felt any emotion since I experienced him dying in my arms. People told me that he died happy, but I don't believe them. I smiled at him, it was forced. He kissed me softly.

I feel horrible about feeling like this, but I'm happy it was Jake instead of Edward. I'm still didn't want Jake to die, but still. Is it wrong to be happy? Happy that I am still alive, and that Edward is still alive.

i looked at her slightly engorged belly, and realized touching it. i wanted that more than anything. more than everything. but i could never have that happiness...i wasnt sure if it was worth it.

"What are you going to name him?" she glanced down sitting her hand on mine gently over her tightly rounded belly.

o and for future refrens ppl i edited this a LOT so i wouldnt give things away...so thats y the grammer sux get ova itt!! help PLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!


	28. Sempre e eternità aka black mist 2

OKAY PPLZ SEMPE E ETERNITA IS OWTT! That is the second story…sequel baby! Read it…all I have is the prolouge up..if you want more review it! Thnx xoxo!


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